This is Fire

A VISIT, A NEEDED TALK, AND A UNDERSTANDING (13)

MASON POV

The last few days have felt distinctively messy, every part of my life which has been constant has disappeared. My understanding boss has given me a week off, Maya is avoiding me, and Jack has been on vacation. So, I'm all alone and chasing the familiar high I've been avoiding has been very inviting. God, I don't want to touch the white powder but the blood coursing through my veins is fighting my consciousness. Should I call Amelia?

That simple question, the idea of sobriety was my only motivation to track her down. Entering the hospital and seeing people really suffering, doctors spreading smiles or uncontrollable tears surround me as I arrive at a desk.

"Mason are you okay?" Carina asks from behind me. The one person I didn't want to run into. The person closest to Maya. Sensing that this will turn into more of a conversation that I want or need it to be, I hesitate to turn around and face her.

"Yeah I'm here for an appointment" I lie hoping that she will carry on with her day.

"Does Maya know?" She asks. It's a nice sentiment that she acknowledges that Maya would probably freak out if I actually had something going on.

"No, she doesn't know. I'd rather her not know I was here" I ask and she quickly nods, giving a small, understanding smile before going on with her day.

Once the nurses paged Amelia down, I had a few minutes to think about why I was here, I know I wouldn't use but apparently AA likes everyone to talk shit through.

"Mason?" Amelia calls me as she walks towards me, we both smile and she directs me away from the full reception.

We soon end up at her office. She rounds her desk and sits behind her screens, sitting opposite her I wait for her to start a conversation.

"Not to be blunt, but why are you here?" she asks, presumably waiting for me to start a conversation.

"You know, AA told us to talk when we're stressed or have shit on our minds... so I guess I'm here to talk" I confess and her lips quirk into a small smile.

"Okay, what's up" She asks, putting her feet up on her desk and waiting patiently.

"The other day my dad came into my work and basically was disappointed that I wasn't dead. I was suddenly blind with rage. I threw some punches and left him on the floor. Got charged with assault and battery. Maya picked me up after I spent a few hours in the station and she thinks I was crazy for it." I mutter out.

"That's a great summary. Why do you think Maya had a go at you?" she asks

"She adores my dad; he got her that gold medal and always treated her like an angel. At least that's how my sister sees it, he was abusive. She was lucky, my mom and me; not so much. She knows what he said to me but thinks I'm out of line for it. She probably thinks I'm high again or something" I say and she nods along.

"It's obvious that she adores your dad, you attacking him might help her recognise situations that were abusive. Look, growing up I had 3 sisters and I don't talk to any of them. I've always been the family disappointment because I was an addict, I understand toxic behaviour. I'm glad you came here." She replies. It is true, my sister has basically been indoctrinated to see my dad as a god. I just hope that she will realise that he isn't as good as she thinks he is.

"She allows his behaviour. The thrown bowls of food at dinner because it's not her day to eat meat. Her running 20 miles home after not beating her best time. Those aren't normal things, but to her they were. She's always said that dad was looking out for us. How can someone like that, look out for anyone, especially her?" I rant and ask Amelia.