We just barely got there on time. It was the worst feeling ever. Seeing your mom in a casket, it makes you feel as though there is a dagger in your back. The service was unbearable. Everyone taking about how dead my mom is. It seemed that within minutes everyone had either given me some hand motion to go up there and say something or just whispered at me to do so. I couldn't do that, I just can't. After the service was over, which went on for however long while I cried and shut myself down, everyone came up to me talking about "how tragic it is" and "you poor thing"
I was so relieved when everyone cleared out and my aunt let us follow her as we drove to 'the celebration of life' party. I guess it's at her new house, which is 45 minutes away. We had planned for Mr to just spend the night there or something I guess. I don't remember that.
When we got there we settled in a bit. It was less of a party and more of a small family gathering. We sat down and ate pizza for dinner. "Second night in a row, hah." Clara said, taking a few slices. "That's right" I said, only taking one slice. That's all I ate. Yeah, my family did bug me about eating more, but that won't make me do it.
After everyone was done eating my aunt decides that writing on balloons to set off into the sky is a great idea. That's what I want, to write about how dead my mom is. "That's a really sweet idea" Clara said, taking a marker and balloon. I was then handed a balloon and marker. I just drew on it and acted as though I wrote a message. I was never any good at cards or anything, and I refuse to write about my dead mom.
"Tanessa! Time to release the balloons!" I heard, with a tug on my arm. I guess I spaced out. Luckily, I had my balloon under the table, so nobody saw. Before I knew it I had been dragged outside and we were releasing the balloons. I let mine go as soon as I could before someone saw that all I did was draw a rose. A very poorly drawn rose.
Then as I watched the balloons drift off I was being dragged away, it didn't help that it was 11 pm and dark outside so nobody could see. I tried screaming, but the person who had me covered my mouth. I tried kicking and struggling, but it wasn't working.
