CONSUME

[12] awkward

***

The next few days at school were kind of quiet.

After dinner on Monday, I feel like my interactions with Axel have been limited. We've all been kind of just focusing on finals that would begin right after Prom which was in a month.

I realized that I actually shared no classes with Axel, and that the only time I would be able to really interact with him at school was during lunch. But with our separate friend groups, we didn't really speak much at all, and before I knew it it was already Friday.

I think the vibe between him and me was still a little bit odd after our conversation a few nights ago, and the lingering questions of our feelings for each other was still up in the air.

Well, no, let me rephrase.

His feelings for me were unclear. I know how I feel about him, which is absolutely no different than how I felt about him before any of this started. But I definitely wondered if it was still a good idea to keep our physical relationship going if he was beginning to develop romantic feelings for me.

Based on the last thing he said to me, though, apparently he likes not me, but when I'm nice to him. But likes it more when I'm not nice.

Why did he have to make everything so confusing all the time, because what does that even fucking mean?

I let out a deep breath, flooding out of school along with all of the other people who headed towards the student parking lot. I went to my car and waited for Noah who was supposed to meet me here, since I'm giving her a ride home today.

I turned on the air conditioning, kind of sweating but also happy that the weather was finally getting warmer. It was already April and after Prom which was in May, I knew pretty soon the reality of graduating would begin to settle.

I'm definitely very excited. I haven't decided where I want to go to college just yet, but I've been accepted into a few schools I'd love to go to. Moving to California has always sounded appealing, and I got accepted into the University of California Irvine, which is a great option for me, especially because I want to get away from my family and pretty much everyone here in the small town I live in.

The idea of living so far away is scary, but at the same time, the independence, freedom, and opportunities I will be faced with are better than anything I could ever find here. I don't know exactly what I want to major in yet, but if I'm going to be figuring my life out, I sure as hell would like to be doing it in a happening place like California.

"Open up bitch!!" I heard Noah's shrill voice that was muffled, and I looked out of the passenger window to see her blonde hair blowing in the wind, sunglasses resting on her face and a smile on her thin rosy lips.

I laughed at her words and unlocked the car, "SORRY! Didn't realize it was locked."

She hopped in and threw her backpack into the backseat, getting comfortable, "Ugh! It's hot as balls outside," She ran her fingers through her hair as an attempt to fix it from the wind that messed it up, "I can't believe it's already almost summer."

"I know right, I was just thinking about that," I adjusted my rearview mirror, the little charms I had dangling from it moved with it, getting ready to drive us home, "Going to college this year is kind of weirding me out."

"Right! Like, how are we supposed to actually function on our own?"

"Good question," I pulled out of the parking lot and began driving onto the road, "But on a serious note, I'm actually considering UCI."