CONSUME

[22] truth

***

I successfully avoided school on Tuesday the next morning, and spent my hours just lazing around, not doing very much of anything.

I went to school on Wednesday though, and it was... boring.

Thursday... same thing.

Well, I had phone sex with Axel on Thursday night. That was great.

But other than that, Friday was also pretty bland.

I know, I know. I was yet to talk to him about Dylan. But I haven't even seen him face to face in days. Despite our dirty texting and even dirtier FaceTime calls, talking is kind of the one thing that neither of us are focused on doing.

You'd think for being neighbors though, we'd have easy access to each other. However with our parents, especially my dad, it's impossible to find an excuse to hang out together. Even more especially, when we quote unquote, "hate each other."

I feel extremely guilty for omitting the truth of Dylan and me though. When Axel asked me about him, all I said was that he ended up being a weirdo, and I don't plan on seeing him again. We didn't speak on it after that, the video call we were on turning into something resembling more of a PornHub stream.

I don't know, okay?

But whatever, I don't have time to think about any of this right now. Because in the grand scheme of things, my social and intimate situations are the least important thing.

I have one thing to worry about and one thing only: Finals.

I told my mother that me and my mystery boyfriend broke up, and I don't want to disclose any details to her right now. Thankfully, she respected my choice and cancelled dinner tonight. So, I really have to get rid of any and all distractions, and study.

I did everything. Turned off my phone, closed the curtains to my windows, made a nice, tall mug of coffee, and even sat on my desk instead of my bed.

"Okay," I told myself, stretching my arms in front of me and cracking my knuckles, then picking up a freshly sharpened pencil.

I opened up my notebook, and flipped through my Literature textbook (which by the way, I think I had to literally brush off some dust from how long it must've been since the last time I used it).

I actually ended up getting some productive education from it though, and after what felt like at least six hours but was actually two,  I felt way better about taking this Literature final than I did before.

Feeling absolutely flushed of any energy, I slammed all of my books shut with accomplishment and a smile on my face.

"I'm a freaking genius," I nodded to myself contently, and decided to take a shower. I let my hair out of the greasy ass bun it was in, and shook my curls out.

Yup, definitely a hair wash day.

I exited my room and walked into the bathroom, quickly stripping off my clothes and throwing them into the laundry basket. Now fully naked, I scanned myself in the full-length mirror. I brought my hands to my hips, and leaned on one leg, posing a bit.

My body was something I've always been insecure about.

I brought my hands to my bellybutton, feeling the curves of some of the chubbiness around my ribs, and then grazing the bottom of my breasts which hung heavy on my chest.

Being a 38D since probably 6th grade has never been fun. I know some girls definitely have bigger chests than me, and I wonder how it must be for them if I already complain about mine.