relapse (kickthestickz and phan)

chapter 4

A/N I'm so sorry it took so long to update I haven't been able to get to a wifi source and ughhh but it's up now so here it is!

I couldn't help but feel bad for Dan. I tried to tell myself not to, but he's my best friend! how. could I do such a thing to him?

I went to his room to check on him, and he was asleep. his laptop was open, and my curiosity took over.

just a quick peek won't hurt, right?

there were two tabs open.

"what is a panic attack?" was one and "how to prevent panic attacks" was another.

is that why he was acting strange earlier? I looked at the webpage and saw a list of symptoms.

"nausea, dizziness, shortage of breath, rapid heartbeat, etc."

The nausea would explain why he threw up, and why he was breathing heavy.

maybe he just had a panic attack, maybe it's nothing.

I really hope it's nothing.

dan's pov~

I had fallen asleep after researching panic attacks. when I woke up my computer wasn't on the same page as before. not thinking much of it, I went to my Tumblr page.

I decided since I was sad, maybe I could go through the danisnotonfire tag to cheer me up.

that was a mistake.

the first post was a picture that said
"Dan Howell is an ugly f*g. reblog if you think danisnotonfire should kill himself! #kysdan"

the number of notes was sickening.

3,863.

that many people hated me.

that many people wanted me to die.

and not to mention all the people without Tumblr accounts, who couldn't reblog this.
the people who hasn't even seen this post yet.

you see Dan, they all hate you.

you're worthless.

you don't deserve to live.

go kill yourself.

the voice in my head wouldn't stop. i knew one way to stop it, though.

time to go take care of that sensation.

~~~~~~~~
a/n the next part is going to be so hard to write oh my god.
but maybe something good will happen with Phil....? ehhhhhh I'm dreading this but I have to...

Frick

-Korbyn Nicole