All Talk With Manoucheca

Episode 454 | DRAYA

Episode 454 | DRAYA

Guest
Draya

[A|N: Draya is from the book: Doses of Draya by @briflare]

"What's up Draya, how are you?" Manoucheca asked Draya.

Manoucheca had invited Draya to appear on her podcast, All Talk With Manoucheca Podcast often shortened to All Talk Podcast. Manoucheca wanted to have a conversation about toxic relationships, family, career, music, gossip blog, and more with Draya so accepted the invitation.

"I'm frazzled, but I'm good," Draya answered.

"Don't be frazzled. It's all good," Manoucheca said.

"Okay," Draya said as she takes a sip of her drink to calm her nerves.

"I want to start with the topic of toxic relationships since you tend to write music about the toxicity of relationships," Manoucheca said.

Draya nods.

"Whether it be toxic romance, toxic friendships, or toxic relationships with your family. A lot of people have more toxic relationships than healthy ones. So my question to you is, why are we so drawn to toxicity in our lives?" Manoucheca asked Draya.

"Maybe it's about what we think we deserve. There are two different kinds of toxic relationships. One's toxic and you're just fucking with it because you're still down with it. And then there's the other kind, like, you actually have no idea until something happens, and then you look at the whole thing like, "Oh, damn. This might be bad." Toxic shit can be very fun. That's partly why it's so toxic," Draya answered.

Manoucheca nods in agreement.

"So, have you been in toxic relationships and how were you able to get out of them?" Manoucheca asked Draya.

"Come on, Manoucheca, you know I was in a very public toxic relationship with the father of my daughter, which I truly regret letting that relationship and its issues play out in public because when my daughter grows she is going to see how badly her father and I treated each other," Draya started off her answer before taking another sip of her drink.

"Girl, I know but I didn't what to jump down your throat with it," Manoucheca said.

"Okay, I get that. Well, Intimate relationships can go through ups and downs, but a toxic relationship is consistently draining and distressing. Partners in a toxic relationship do not support each other, often display competitiveness and disrespect, and try to undermine each other. If you're in a toxic relationship, it might be time to make a plan to leave. On the surface, it might seem like a toxic relationship is easy to spot. But things can get complicated when toxicity is tied to a romantic relationship," Draya continued.

"Right," Manoucheca said.

"Toxic relationships and abusive relationships can have some overlap, but there is a difference. In an abusive relationship, one partner is always in control. A partner who is aware of their actions and chooses abusive behaviors to show dominance and instigate violence is an abusive partner who wants to maintain control over the other partner. It might start as emotional abuse and become physical over time.

Abusive relationships can be hard to recognize but it's important to be aware of the cycles of abuse and different types of abuse outside of physical and emotional abuse, such as financial abuse or academic abuse. Toxic relationships that turn abusive can also use physical intimacy to perpetuate abuse using sexual coercion. In any relationship, there needs to be respect," Draya concluded.

"So, what were the signs that you witnessed in your relationship that made you realize it was toxic?" Manoucheca asked her.

Draya thinks back on her relationship with her daughter's father, who plays in the National Basketball Association for the Los Angeles Lakers, and how towards the end of their relationship all she felt was sad, angry, anxious, and resigned to the relationship. How he became possessive and discouraged her from going out with friends, criticized her, and constantly texted her to check in before answering Manoucheca's question.