Evanescent Dreams

28. Your Last Chance

"It's a bit funny, " Chen Siyun broke the silence after composedly viewing and listening to the city with Weng Bai at the old place. 

It's a bit sad, really. 

"The hustle of the city?" 

"I wish. I wish I could hustle like that."

"Hmm," Weng Bai turned to his side to face her. The evening breeze helped loosen up his curls, and wisps brushed his forehead. "Is it about Zhao Zihai?" 

"I used to think I couldn't confess my feelings towards Zhao Zihai because of other people. But it wasn't."

"Then have you figured out the true reason? Why do you not confess to him?"

"The true reason..." Chen Siyun observed the flashing skyscrapers towering above the honking, flashing cars. "I don't love myself enough."

Weng Bai gently lay his hand on her shoulder, "hey."

She didn't turn around. 

"The tallest skyscrapers and the smallest cars can all make noise and light. Yet I don't make noise or light because skyscrapers exist. I am in the shadows of the skyscrapers, not knowing how to step out. "

"I'm..." she swallowed, "I'm jealous. People who don't love themselves, who can't find confidence because of the presence of others are jealous of others. I am jealous of Zhao Zihai. That's why I can't confess to him. " 

 "If you're jealous of him, then you should go to the movies with him. I support it," Weng Bai pursed his lips and nodded to himself. 

"Why?"

"You should go. Yes, you should."

It was as if Weng Bai was persuading himself at the same time of persuading her.

"How about you?" Chen Siyun cast her eyes on him.

He raised a brow. 

 She didn't want to talk about herself any more. It was Weng Bai she was more curious about. "You love yourself, but why do you not confess to the one you like? The girl you drew in your manga."

The night scenery glimmered in Weng Bai's eyes. He maintained an increasingly pensive gaze at Chen Siyun and finally spoke after a while. 

"I am waiting for her to start loving herself."

 His wide lips curved up seeing her stumble, "I am rooting for her."

I wish I can give some of my love for you to love yourself more. 

She bit the tip of her thumb and averted her eyes. 

He made a finger heart and reached it in front of her. 

She took a step back and he stepped in front of her, blocking the city view.

"I'm serious though. I like you, Siyun. "

Deeper inside his carefree appearance was a pair of unwavering, sincere eyes. 

"Wh-why?" she didn't understand. She knew, but didn't understand at all. She was losing control.

"Why..."she repeated in astonishment. 

Even if someone likes me, I thought it would be too pathetic...too pathetic to say out loud. 

"Why? There's no why. I like you because you are you."

"But I'm so introverted."

He paced back to his original spot near the railings, "you're not introvert, you're Chen Siyun. You are the Chen Siyun who is reflective of herself, who is clear about what she wants, what she doesn't want, and how she feels about herself and others. If you didn't know yourself as an inferior, shy introvert, then you would know everything, very firmly, about yourself. That's who you truly are. "