Evanescent Dreams

31. You Can't Be Normal

Lin Xingren scratched her head at the top of the dark stairways. Her original plan was to stay unnoticed until the appropriate timing, but she instead had straight up interrupted a reunion hug. 

Shoot. I betrayed myself again. Careless Lin Xingren. Careless! 

What can I do now. What can I do now. 

She very unnaturally gave a half-wave and tried to smile. 

No. Smiling is wrong at this moment. Smiling is so wrong. 

She decided to continue with a straight face. 

"Why are you here?" Ye Xue shuddered and crossed her arms. 

"You didn't say you would come." Her eyes twitched insecurely. 

Ye Zhen stepped in between them. "You two know each other?" 

Lin Xingren swallowed.

"Uh, yeah, remember I went to find Ye Xue that time you disappeared for a few days?" Lin Xingren uncontrollably stuttered her between words. One of her flaws was her tendency to utter lies, which only betrayed her even more if she did not shout them. 

"Yeah, Zhen, we don't know each other," Ye Xue affirmed from behind him. 

"I see," Ye Zhen grew solemn. "You guys are hiding something serious."

The air stiffened. He stared at Lin Xingren's evading eyes expectantly. "It's obvious, Xingren." 

Right. I wouldn't be able to even find this place if I only met her once. Lin Xingren, you knew that none of your plans work out as intended yet still never prepare a plan B. So stupid, omg. What do I do now? Say the truth? 

"I was going to say the truth anyway. I just thought it wouldn't be that glamorous saying it here," she feigned a matter-of-fact attitude. 

"What? Hey-No!" 

Ye Zhen stopped Ye Xue from charging onto Lin Xingren. Even if it was just an arm, she could not make herself fight back and hurt him. 

"Not only Ye Xue...anyone in the Snow Pharmaceuticals company...don't own that Little Red account." 

Ye Zhen dropped his arms and his face turned pale with disbelief. 

---

If she wanted to get anywhere with Ye Zhen, she knew she had to help resolve the sibling situation. 

Of course, it was the only way she could go at the moment because she was not yet prepared to face her own situation. She may never be able to face her own situations, her present and past, however. She did not know yet if she was a bird puncturing holes in her heavy fog, or a bird struggling with its last energy in a lake full of algae. 

Since that afternoon Ye Zhen broke down after receiving Ye Xue's message about turning herself in, Lin Xingren started an independent and fearless mission to find Ye Xue. There were some things that Lin Xingren thought would be done more efficiently if she was by herself. She didn't have to constantly restrain herself because of evading guilt and regret, and could temporarily do everything her own way without facing consequences. 

The first thing Lin Xingren did was go to the Snow Pharmaceuticals company again. There, she approached the middle aged office worker who was close with Ye Xue again. She got Ye Xue's phone number after he told her that Ye Xue doesn't use any social media like Little Red. She also inquired the front desk about the official Snow Pharmaceuticals Little Red account, and it was then she found out that there didn't exist one. 

After talking to the front desk, she accidentally tipped over a garbage can, and spent five minutes picking the trash, mainly food wrappers, to put back in the bin. She swore to herself then that she would continue on this sibling-finding journey alone.