Tobias Weiss.

Chapter 37

"I bet you think I'm just some sick old asshole? Someone who just enjoys going down hard on kids, because he's old and miserable, and jealous of their youth, right? Let me tell you about this sick old fuck. I came to America with my wife from Ireland. We both loved this land; everything it preached about liberty and freedom and justice for all. My two boys also believed in that dream, so much that when that President Bush Senior wanted boys to go out there to settle the disturbances over there in Iraq, they signed up to do a stay of duty -to thank this great land of ours."

He stopped, by now the woman had turned around to listen, standing at the entrance. "Crazy thing was Rory and Sean never even made it to their post over there. They died when their truck hit a mine on root. They were blown to bits. What that mine did to them was so bad our two boys came back like sides of beef you'd get in a butcher's. Mara my wife, perished not too long after that. She died from a broken heart. Before that, this place had so much love and laughter. You'd feel it the moment you stepped in that door. Now all I see here is young people stopping by wanting to fornicate like animals, having no respect for anyone. Mara my wife had one time said, she'd rather close this place down, than see it as a place where unholy seed was spilt. As that was the devils work, in her mind. Sadly, that unholy seed, and soiled sheets off the beds, is how I have come to make my living; as a God fearing man. It hurts, when you realize no one is around now to help you, even to take it all off your hands, when you're ready to pass on."

"I'm sorry to hear about all you have suffered. No one needed to go through that." She said after walking back up to the counter. "I guess hearing people laughing and acting stupid like those kids, hits hard now. Reminds you all over again of what you had, and lost."

He bowed his head, "All I want now more than anything is to lay down in God's sweet green pastures next to my wife -dead now like ten years.

If they acted polite, I could stand it. But when they come here and treat you like you're nothing -almost laughing in your face. Kids shouldn't act like that to their elders. It's just not right?" He ended, scorned.

He looked the woman direct, "When I saw you were by yourself, and married -by that ring, I assumed you were up to no good too. Having some seedy affair behind your husband's back. I'm sorry now how I acted. As I see now you're not as I first supposed." He bowed his head again, as if out of shame. And with that with Tobias's instruction, the woman leaned over and kissed him on the forehead. With that the old man looked up and smiled, and then heard the woman's words, "I'm sorry too, for assuming you were what I first thought." And with that, she turned around and left.

As Tobias walked to his car, he couldn't help but think there was something truly magical about this woman. She had a way about her -as if she was Jesus Christ walking amongst sinners -each wanting to approach her and ask repentance. He smiled at that reflection. He guessed that was why he seemed so rejuvenated -like he had lain underneath the fountain of youth. He couldn't help but wonder too, was it possible that maybe some divine intervention had sent him into this person, to achieve what had to be done? With that, the woman got into the driving seat, selected drive, and pulled away from the motel.

He smirked at this thought, as he went down the road: Tobias knew the way Jillian was acting was thanks to the fact he was controlling her. He doubted very much she would have acted that way on her own accord. Because women adjusted to situations differently than men; with a man it was a more outright response to a situation, like he had just performed.

He knew too, a more religiously minded person, might assume at this stage, he was Jesus Christ. And the Battle soon to be fought, was a battle between good and evil, in a fight, for the salvation of mankind. And even though Tobias knew well there were some such similarities. He wasn't under any such stupid delusions whatsoever, that the son of a Funeral Director -was the Son of God, carrying out the prophecy, to return again to Earth, and walk again amongst men, women and children.

With that, he allowed the woman to select music on the radio. And when Stairway to Heaven came hard from the speaker, on an oldies station, he felt the song seemed strangely appropriate for his thoughts. He wasn't sure if it was a sign, but he felt really positive, nevertheless, about what he had to do.

He knew if Mr Albert Einstein was with him, he probably could have dredged up all sorts of theories supporting mathematically, that there was every probability -he very well could be the Son of God. Even though, he would be very thorough on stressing, he was only a Funeral Director's son -even though the idea went quite well with being of the Hebrew fate. As they believed Jesus Christ had yet to walk amongst the living.

He laughed at that, and as the music hammered loud into the interior, with the driver side window wound well down. The sound of that laughter came out of the young woman's mouth, feminine, and not in the least bit masculine.

The protocol he lived by guarded against that too. Against suddenly starting to believe you were God-like. Or even God Himself. He wondered again if there were others. And if they too had set up protocols like he had, to protect against madness creeping in. After all, existing as an entity, energy, consciousness, in another person (host) was a hell of a lot for the human brain to comprehend. (Hell of a lot worse that a goldfish caught in a goldfish bowl. As they had no way of comprehending self-awareness?! To that fish, because of its ridiculously small memory span, time was simply meaningless)

As he went farther down the road, that morning, and saw ahead the different colored cars reflecting brightly at times because of the sunlight. He thought, if there were others like him out there, trying to accomplish what he had been trying to accomplish all those years -they sure as hell hadn't done a great job about it!

But with that thought, he reckoned also, some could have simply just gotten trapped back in time -as he had done. Some might even have been a bit lost what it was they were even supposed to do? And for the remainder -well that was anyone's guess? For all he knew, he might be that little percentage of hope that existed to undo what was done. Again, he realized, looping back to the God-like syndrome, or the belief he might be Christ coming again to do battle with evil -which his set of protocols protected against.

He laughed inside the beautiful young woman's head at that -his crazy thoughts. And the sound again came out of the woman's mouth, transformed gorgeously, and femininely. But then something stopped his laughter, hitting him hard with cold reality, like slamming head first into a solid wall -something he didn't want to accept.

See, he had no idea of time concept? Certainly as consciousness? So, wasn't there every possibility too, that a certain percentage of those people had just simply ceased to exist? That that consciousness which made them what they were, just got dimmer and dimmer with time, till eventually like a dying star, it went out altogether -or like a torch with a drained set of batteries? That thought made laughter from before, bring tears to Doctor Jillian Cooper's cheeks. As Tobias suddenly started to feel real sad, and real scared!

The loneliest thought Tobias could ever think about, was just fading away out of existence -like energy dissipating -as if all his happier found memories in life, never meant anything! To him, that was True Death! The worst death imaginable!