HTBMHIT || {A creek fanfiction}

(tw) Timeline Bump⁴: Winter Snakes

(TW: This chapter is full of explicit topics such as SA. If ever you're sensitive to such topics, please just skip this chapter. This chapter is angst NOT smut - I did not wrote this chapter to be fetishized nor be seen as a smut because its a sensitive backstory topic. Everything written in this part is just fictional; it does not co-relates me irl nor the people related to me irl. **This isn't targeted to anyone**

If there are any chances that you, reader, have experienced such situation, please do not silence yourself, you deserve justice and a bright light ahead of you. Speak up for yourself.)

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"Cause you're just a man, it's just what you do, you're head in you're hands as you color me blue."

- Norman Fucking Rockwell, Lana Del Rey

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It was new year's eve and I was 6, still frail and naive of what the world has to set upon me. Other than that, whenever it's new years, my relatives such as aunts, uncles, and cousins would come over and bring such gifts and foods for my family as a part of the family tradition; we celebrate and embrace the New Years altogether.

Mom and my other aunts, as well as my grandmother would hang around the kitchen to prepare such feastful feast before the clock strikes to midnight; I remember, whenever they do, the house would be filled with such aroma that you can't help but savor it's lingering scent with the thought of imagining it's taste.

My house is filled with great chefs. I often see them prepare lasagna, meat loaves, fruit cakes and other more delicious delicacies they knew traditionally by heart to prepare during New years. - it makes you yearn for it the whole year round; since it only happens to exist in the table at times like this.

While the ladies are prepping the feast and the condition of the house, my cousins would play around in the living room as the gents would help each other out upon cleaning every dust and inch on the floors, walls, rooms and cabinet. Basically the goal of the family was to renew the house for the new year to come.

I missed that lingering feeling; yet, frankly, I don't wanna go back.

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It was 10PM, everyone was gathering downstairs, Jazz music are ringing, the air is cold, my mom and her sisters we're at the sofas and the others we're distracted on their own ways. I was just staying up all alone in the stairs playing with the toy I got from my grandma for Christmas. - Since my cousins excludes me on their games because they are creeped out with my mannerisms that I couldn't control at times. I wish I wasn't that weird and different like the other kids. I hate that I can only play as a part of a spectator; spectating other kids have the time of their lives. I'm jealous.

And as to that, since everyone was distracted. - I was all alone and lonely, trying to find more amusement on what a stupid toy has to bring to me while waiting for New Years.

I then heard grown man tapping of the stairs going down; it was my creepy uncle from my mom's side, Uncle Sefton. I'm guessing he's around the age of his 30s that time. Mom told me to keep my cool down around him for he is my uncle, but I can't help but get these unusual feeling of him being unwanted from my sight.

He wears these plaid polos and Jean-shorts that Dad's usually wear. I don't mind his fashion and appearance, he seems nice out of context; but he's mannerisms and way of talking around me sets me right through thin ice.

He called after my name in a whisper tone, almost that it was only meant for me to hear.

"Tweak" He whispered, which made me look up to his sight. He had to repeat calling after me a dozen few times to convince me to respond to him.

"Yes..?" I answered poorly.

"Come up here, I have something to show you, it's one of my creations." He said with a grin on his face.

"I'm fine here.."

"Come on, don't you wanna be the first one to see it before other people does? I'll be sure to make it up to you for doing so too." He smiled and offered me his wide palm to help me got up and come up  with him.

I thought to myself, on what I should do as he was standing few steps ahead of me. I mean, he isn't a stranger but I don't fully know him too. But come to think about it, whenever I try to say such things as "no" to mom and dad whenever I don't feel like doing such task, they get disappointed and put the "lazy" name on me.

I don't want my family to think I'm an disappointment; despite them mostly feeling ashamed for me; having disabilities whenever we go out or put me out on display. They don't say it verbally to me but I can tell by the way they brought me up.

So I went up with him. He locked the door and left me and him all alone in one room.

I was at the king sized guest room where he is staying in with my other relatives, sitting on his bed, waiting for him to show his creation, but apparently it's already taking him quite awhile to show me what it is. My curiosity couldn't help it no longer so I can't help but ask.

"Uncle, what is it that you wanna show me..?"

"Oh, a curious fella I see...there is no creation for we're the one who's gonna create it." He chuckled in a low tone which gave me some sense of his vulgar behavior I couldn't just prove yet. He went up with me in the bed, held my shoulders from the back and whispered such things.

"I can't help it, you're fun to mess with."

"Don't pretend to be innocent."

"I'd hold on to something if I we're you."

then a few moments from that situation, he touched me. He ruined the insides of me physically, mentally and spiritually. - That a man like him have no right to take what's not in the right to be taken away from me. They mistook my silence as weakness and my naiveness as an opportunity of such acts that pleasures such feisty fantasies. - A fantasy that one child cannot comprehend and a fantasy that is surely far from the fantasy they've known.

Yes, I am a boy, I have the dignity to say and experience such; but as if those privileges of mine we're torn apart right into my sight.- Too early; from a man that runs the same blood monarchy of mine and from a man that was supposed to be one of my protectors from the tough world out there that isn't meant to mold me yet.

The world starts at home.

Ever since that night, New Years have not hit the same and I was silenced. I do not feel clean no matter how I bathe myself. I refuse to eat more often. I disgust touch and the beauty and care that comes beneath it; for, from what I have remembered; It ruined me and took my loneliness out of context and replaced me with grief, thunder, fear, and all the troubles that I didn't deserve as a child. I grew up too quickly when I was supposed to be just a young frail soul in a body of a young child; innocent and lively.

I kept swallowing the anger back and it's choking me; someday, I'll be gone as the consequences to it.

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