Beside Me.

f o u r

"In the back of my mind, you died"

After 1 month mom woke up and everything changed. When we met her she was not the same. she was screaming and throwing things. She wasn't acting like mom. She wasn't even acting like a person anymore.
Her eyes that were ones always filled with love but they weren't the samen anymore.

"A traumatic head injury can make a person loose control over their emotional expressions.restlessness , confusion, disorientation, hallucinations, agitation and delusions occur by the effect of injury on brain tissue chemicals." The doctor said.
"Can she heal?" I never saw hiro-chan so restless. He was always calm and collected. It's really bad? Do we have no hope?
The doctor gave us a sad look. Don't give me that. Tell us she will be okay.

"We can only give her therapy and pray that it becomes better. There is no scientific way to heal her."

Pray? Pray? Who will we pray to? God? If they existed then this wouldn't have happened on the first place. Mom... I miss mom. This can't be happening. What if she never recognises me? Will I never get to meet her again? Will she never hug me again? The thought made me feel empty

Dad got discharged and came home. When He heard about mom and he would go to visit her occasionally but after 4-5 times and stopped.I don't think anything went well after this. Dad stopped talking to us he was always working and never home. He never looked at us and always avoided my eyes. Big brother always tried his best to comfort me. Even tho I could see he was in pain. He was in so much pain and me? I don't know about myself. I don't know how I feel. All I thought about was why? Why did this happen?

Every time I saw mother she would scream at me. She would try to hit me. I guess I deserve it don't I? It's all my fault she ended up like this after all. It's my fault.
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We were having our breakfast when Hiro chan told us that the doctors are going to transfer mom to a different hospital. Where the environment would be better so after today it will be hard to see mom.

It feels like the whole universe is trying get us apart. I asked hiro-chan if I could meet mom one last time. He was hesitant but he knew how I felt. He agreed and told us to get ready and called for a driver.

I will atleast let her know that she has a family who loves her alot so that she doesn't feel lonely. Big brother was quite for most of the ride until we reached the hospital. But before entering he stopped me.

"Are you sure Nayaka?"
'huh?'
"Nayaka. Mom isn't like what she used to be."
I greeted my teeth. I'm not a fool. Ofcourse I know that but that can't stop me to meet my mother and he shouldn't think just because she changed I will not meet her.
I gently pushed him away from me.

'I know that ofcourse I know that! But she is still our mom nii-san! She still is! There is no way I will let her go without telling her how much I love her and how much she means to me!'

"Nayaka..." His voice quivered. It sounded like he was holding Back a cry.did I just made my brother cry?
'I-I am sorr-' he hugged me.
"you talk like a big girl now"
'huh?'
He smiled. "You are growing up aren't you."
I don't understand...
"I'm proud of you Nayaka"
He gently took my hand in his and we both entered the hospital
"Let's go and meet mom"
he's still my big brother. He's still my favourite person.I know one thing for sure. Even if the world was ending big brother would always be with me, no matter what.
"Thankyou Nayaka"
'what for?'
"For being my sister."
My chest feels warm. It feels like it's been forever since I have ever truly felt happy.
'and thankyou for being my brother!'
Atleast I still have him.
_______________

Hiro-chan joined us soon after.
We entered mom's room and she was looking out of the window. She didnt react or moved. She didnt even flinch. She was just sitting there like a doll.

'mom?'
No reaction. Why isn't she saying anything? She would react if anyone gets closer to her. I started walking towards her.
"Nayaka careful."
'shes my mom Hiro-chan..she won't hurt me'
That's true that she won't but I was still walking slowly..what am I scared of?
I gently touched her hand and she finally looked at me. She said nothing she was just staring at me, I was suddenly in loss of words..it's been so long since I have felt her warmth. My throat was hurting as I was holding back my tears. I wanted to cry in her arms.
'm-mom'

*SLAP*

"GET AWAY FROM ME! I WON'T LET YOU HURT ME YOU LOW LIFE! AAAGGH"

"NAYAKA GET AWAY FROM HER"

"GRAB HER! GIVE HER THE SEDATIVE"

"are you okay?"

"It's okay she doesn't mean it"

"Nayaka.."

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I could still feel her hands on my cheeks but they didn't hurt..I wonder why? Is it because the pain I'm feeling in my heart is far more then this?
'Ha..ha...' she slapped me.she called me a low life. She thinks I will hurt her. Just how did this happen? How did we ended up like this?
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FLASHBACKS

"Nayaka! Go wash your hands dinner is ready"
'yessss mommmm'
__________

'mommmmm I hurt my handdd'
"Oh honey it's okay I will blow on it and then it won't hurt. Okay?"
__________

'mom you are the prettiest!'
"Thankyou honey"
__________

'mom I am scared there is a monster in my room'
"It's okay come sleep with us honey I will protect you from the monster
'yay! Love you mom!'
__________

'Mom?how much do to love me? Out of 100?!'
"Infinity."
_________________

"Naya-chan"
We both started at each other for a while.
"let's go home."

Home? I don't think I have one anymore.

Author's note:

Don't worry guys
The great Mikey-sama will soon make his entrance ;)