ꜱᴋɪɴꜱʜɪᴘ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʜɪᴍ || ʜᴇᴇꜱᴜɴ 𝟏𝟖+||

Warmth - Chapter 5

SUNOO'S POV

After the class ended, Jungwon and Niki were animatedly chatting beside me. I followed along nodding occasionally but my mind was elsewhere. The weight of everything from the last days still lingered in my chest.

We were heading towards the cafeteria—normally, I would have join them without question but today the idea of sitting at a crowded table made me feel even more suffocated. As we got closer to the building, I slowed my pace.

“Hey, Jungwon.” My voice came out softer than I expected and I noticed him tilt his head slightly giving me his full attention.

“What’s up?” Jungwon asked, his usual playful tone replaced by a hint of concern while Niki also stopped glancing between us.

I swallowed the lump in my throat, trying to sound nonchalant though I could feel the edges of my words trembling. “I’m not feeling too well,” I started, pushing a hand through my hair as if that would make me seem more composed.

“I think I’ll skip lunch for now. Maybe take a walk around campus or something.”

Jungwon’s eyes softened. “Are you okay? If you’re not feeling well, I can come with you.”

His offer was kind but the idea of having someone by my side asking questions I wasn’t ready to answer made me feel even more overwhelmed. “No, it’s fine,” I forced a small smile, though it didn’t quite reach my eyes. “I just, want to be alone for a bit. Clear my head, you know?”

Jungwon studied me for a moment, weighing whether or not to push the matter further. After a few seconds he nodded. “Okay, hyung. But make sure to take care of yourself, alright?”

“Yeah,” I muttered, grateful for his understanding. “Thanks.”

Niki gave me a small wave as I turned away, heading in the opposite direction of the cafeteria. I heard Jungwon’s voice faintly behind me, talking to Niki again and their laughter echoed distantly in my ears.

I tried not to think about how distant I felt from them right now, how even the sound of their happiness made me feel like I was standing in a different world.

The campus was quieter in the areas further away from the cafeteria and lecture halls. My footsteps were the only sound echoing off the empty paths and the further I walked, the more I felt that solitude settling in.

It wasn’t the peaceful kind of solitude though—no, this was the kind that came with a tormenting sense of heaviness.

I passed the library first. The grand, old building stood like a fortress of knowledge and I made a mental note to visit it when I was feeling better. I’d always found comfort in books, in the silence of libraries where my thoughts could slip away, replaced by stories and words that didn’t demand anything from me.

Next, I found the football court. The echo of distant shouts and laughter reached my ears from across the field. A group of students were playing an informal game, their energy palpable even from where I stood.

I watched them for a moment, envying their lightness, the way they seemed so carefree in their movements. I turned away after a few minutes feeling that familiar ache in my chest. I kept walking.

I stumbled upon the music building after that, it's large windows revealing students hunched over pianos, violins and sheet music. One room was filled with the soft, melancholic notes of a violinist practicing a piece. The sound resonated with me, each note tugging at emotions I’d tried so hard to suppress. I didn’t stay long—I couldn’t.

Eventually, I found the drawing area where students had set up easels under the shade of large trees. The scent of paint and fresh air mingled together and I watched them work in silence for a while, the world of colors they were creating feeling so distant from the grey fog that hovered over me.