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Mesh - Chapter 3

SUNOO'S POV

This campus suddenly feels colder after Heeseung hyung left me. His words kept circling in my mind, clinging like they had sunk deep into my skin. "When I will touch you naked skin."

I shivered just thinking about it. I hadn’t been able to brush it off. The way he said it, so calm, so sure of himself like, if he want, he will, he will do it and nothing can stop him—neverthless it successfully sent a chill down my spine.

It felt invasive, like he knew something about me that I didn’t want him to know. And the worst part? I didn’t even know if I was imagining it or if I was just being overly sensitive.

I felt creepy and somehow guilty—guilty for feeling like this because in reality it wasn’t like he did anything terrible, right? I am wrong cause still, it lingers in my head. Why did it feel like he’d been in my space even when he wasn’t there? It was like his presence clung to me.

And it made me nervous. The idea of seeing him again after the classes are over had my stomach twisting in knots, my fingers fidgeting unconsciously. I kept wishing that next time, if there was a next time, it would be different when I see him.

That he wouldn’t look at me the same way he did back in lunch, that I wouldn’t feel this weird anxiety creeping into my chest.

As if that wasn’t enough, I kept getting these flashes—brief, indistinct moments where I was sure I had seen him before. Somewhere. His face was so familiar, but the memories were blurry, like trying to grab onto something just out of reach.

Where did I know him from? The harder I tried to recall, the more elusive it became. It was like a puzzle missing one crucial piece. But the familiarity haunted me, adding to my unease. Was it a good memory or a bad one? I couldn’t tell and that made me anxious.

Overthinking had become a bad habit of mine, a spiral I couldn’t escape once I started. I kept replaying that moment in the cafeteria, analyzing every word, every look, every pause between him and me.

What did he really mean by saying those dirty words when we just met? Did I imagine that strange tone in his voice or was it intentional?

And why did I feel so uncomfortable, neither fought back or said anything, was there something more beneath the surface, something i don't remember?

My mind was racing in circles but it felt like I was getting nowhere. Just this endless loop of uncertainty and doubt when i thought of him.

Weird, I don't want to think about him.

But why is he the only one in my mind?

I tried to shake it off as the day went on. Jungwon and Niki helped a bit, their playful banter distracting me during classes. But even then, there were moments when I would drift off, staring blankly at the textbook in front of me and suddenly his face would flash across my mind.

I’d snap back into reality, scolding myself internally. "Stop thinking about him, Sunoo." I told myself. "It’s not that serious."

But it felt serious. Even though I didn’t want to admit it, some part of me knew that we would cross paths again just after an hour. And that thought only made me more restless.

After classes when I stepped outside with Jungwon and Niki, I felt a bit lighter. The fresh air helped a bit to ease my mind. At least now I could go home and put this day behind me.

But then I heard someone call my name. I turned and to my surprise it was Jake hyung. Why would he call me?

I blinked for a moment wondering if my mind was playing tricks on me again. But no, it was really him. Maybe his class was nearby. I smiled, a little relieved to see a familiar face that wasn’t making me anxious.