Racing For Love

Chapter Forty Three

As I continue to process the loss of Joe, each job required seems to provide at least two more tasks that need to be done and i'm trying not to get overwhelmed by it all. The biggest item on my list is to begin arranging Joe's funeral.

The enormity of organising something like this feels beyond my capabilities, but as I speak to the funeral director, I am met with a sense of both relief and surprise - I'm handed a folder containing Joe's carefully crafted plans for his final farewell. He has anticipated every detail, leaving no room for doubt or hesitation, because of course he has. Joe continues to support me and I smile as I read through the plans.

Inside the folder, I discover a small envelope tucked inside - Joe's familiar handwriting indelibly marking the envelope. I carefully open it, my heart pounding with the anticipation of seeing his words and it takes me a minute to focus on what is in front of me as my eyes swim with tears:

Darling Annie Girl,

If you're reading this, it means that I'm no longer with you, and it is time to move onto the next step in our journey together. I may not be with you physically, but I will guide you through this as best as I can.

We both know too well the immense grief you had to deal with when we lost your parents, and I hate that I am not there to help you navigate the recollection of those same feelings this time.

I watched how you dealt with the storm of grief before - you didn't shy away from your emotions and I remember how you embraced a journey of healing to emerge the other side. Through your hard work, you have shaped yourself into a strong, independent woman with maturity and determination beyond your years. I am beyond proud and honoured to have had you in my life.

Despite your strength, darling Annie, I would not wish the task of dealing with a funeral or memorial on anyone, which is why I have taken it upon myself to plan everything - down to the tiniest detail I hope! It didn't feel right to burden you with the logistics or the arrangements when I knew how my departure would impact you. My intention was to provide you with the space and support you need to grieve and heal, and I hope you understand this, my darling girl.

Use this folder of information to put the final pieces in place and then you can focus on what truly matters. Allow the tears, cherish our memories and surround yourself with the friends who understand and offer solace - their support will be invaluable and a lifeline as you heal and grow from this.

Now, beyond the funeral, which I have intentionally kept small and intimate - there are details of a memorial service which I'm hoping will make you smile. I couldn't resist the opportunity to stick it to Andrea Bianchi one last time. You'll find enclosed in this folder a letter for him where I make it sound like it would be an honour for me to have him deliver a speech and host the memorial, but you and I know the truth. We know what his ego is like, and it's my little way of reminding him that even with his power and influence, I have the upper hand. Let him deal with the hosting the service and the vanity of it all, whilst you take that time for yourself.

As you navigate the path ahead, remember that your parents and I are always with you, watching over you, and cheering you on. You are strong, resilient, and capable of facing any challenge that comes your way.

I love you, Annie Girl, with all my heart,

Joe.

P.S - Go and see Mr Bingham, our solicitor if you haven't already. He has all of the other information you'll need.

I brush away my tears as I finish reading Joe's words. He had considered every angle, knowing exactly how to navigate the complexities of the F1 world and leverage his influence to get the best from the people around him, just as he had managed to do throughout his career.