Racing For Love

Chapter Forty Four

I wake up feeling ok, but after watching the news briefly and checking social media, I have to turn it everything off. The statement from Bianchi has made it to all of the news outlets it seems, and seeing Joe's face in memorial posts and across the tv is too much for me at the moment. Ignoring my list, I go for a walk with headphones plugged in to listen to some music - I want to be alone, just not with my own deafening thoughts.

This break between races has been given to me as compassionate leave which allows me to pick up the pieces from Joe's passing, but without work and visiting Joe as my anchors, I feel lost. I am grateful yet again for Jono's continued presence as his return each evening becomes the point in my day I have come to rely on to keep me grounded.

I continue to walk, but know I need to get home and get ready - today I am visiting Joe's solicitor, Mr Bingham, to run through all of the complexities of Joe's estate. Kate is meeting me afterwards and relief washes over me at the reminder of some time with my friend to distract me.

Mr Bingham's office is bright with traditional furniture befitting of his role in the company. The last time I was here was when Joe signed over the house to me, and I know that Mr Bingham has been expecting this day, as much as I have. As our family solicitor, he dealt with my parent's estate on their deaths - mostly with Joe - but this time, I have to deal with it alone.

"Hello Miss Stephens. I'm so sorry for your loss. How are you doing?" he asks, a warmth in his eyes.

"Thank you. It's hard, lots to do, as you can imagine."

"Of course, of course. I'm sorry that you have to deal with all of this. Are you ready to get into the paperwork? There's a lot to sort, so if at any point it is overwhelming, you just let me know, ok?"

"I think i'm ready..." I say, with a hesitation in my voice. I get my notepad out because as I learned in the first meeting after Joe's passing, there will be too much information to take in all at once.

"Ok, first we need to go through Joe's will. Joe made both of us joint executors to the will, and you will see shortly the reasons for this," Mr Bingham states as he unfolds the paperwork. With a calm and measured voice, he begins to read aloud the words penned by Joe. As each sentence leaves his lips, a mix of emotions swirls within me-sorrow for the loss of Joe and curiosity of what the document contains.

The room feels charged as Mr. Bingham meticulously details the distribution of Joe's estate whilst I take notes. My heart skips a beat as he reveals that the majority of Joe's assets and wealth are bequeathed to me. It takes me a minute to absorb the weight of this responsibility - I feel grateful yet overwhelmed by the magnitude of what Joe has entrusted to me.

Mr Bingham stops reading allowing me to process this news before he places the will down and speaks directly to me, "Joe managed your parent's estate as you know, before his illness. After that time, you agreed for it to all to be managed by us, including your properties. Now that you have ownership of Joe's estate also, you will need to decide whether to keep this arrangement for both sets of properties, or have them transitioned to your care."

My head swims at what this means - the properties I now own will provide an income stream which would sustain me for the rest of my life, but that feels all too gratuitous when I have worked hard to carve a career out for myself. We agree that he will continue to manage it for now, and I will make a decision within the next month.

Mr Bingham continues to read the will, continuing requests made by Joe regarding some of his wine collection, and my heart sinks as he references Susan and the case of wine which was destroyed in the break in. I resolve to find another way for Susan to cherish Joe's memory. As Mr Bingham reads on, my notes become an important checklist to make sure I am honouring his wishes - gifts to some close family friends, monetary donations to causes Joe was passionate about, and a note confirming that all Joe's diaries are left in my care to do with as I see fit, along with the remainder of his possessions.