Racing For Love

Chapter Fifty Four

The mix of emotions I feel as I wake up the next day is at an all time high. The reason I needed to fly back early is that this afternoon is Joe's memorial. As challenging as being away this week has been, it has at least distracted me from the pain I was feeling at the loss of Joe. This is brought back to the forefront as I wake up and prepare for today.

I have not heard from Jono. I spent the whole flight wondering if I should have left, or whether I should have stayed and spoken to him after his meeting. I sent him a message when I landed, asking how the meeting went, and if he was ok but I have heard nothing - I've been left on read.

I can't focus on that now, I keep telling myself. I have to get ready for the memorial so I push those feelings aside to deal with later. I also feel anxious about whether I will see Giovanni Mancini today - nobody has heard from him, but he's been sent multiple invites to today's memorial. I hold out hope that I might get to chat with him, even if I feel like it's a betrayal to Joe's memory to be thinking about this under the circumstances. The thing is, Joe always instilled in me the importance of finding the truth, and I feel like doing that will somehow also protect the legacy we are celebrating.

I dress in Bianchi red - Joe's wish for the memorial was for everyone to wear their team colours, and I found the perfect dress amongst some of the few items of my mother's wardrobe which I kept. I remember when she bought this dress and the memories of watching her putting it on, my father making her twirl, and joking about it being the perfect Bianchi dress. I take my time to do my hair, distracting myself with the simple task before checking myself in the mirror. I take several deep breaths, resetting myself for what this afternoon is to bring.

Today, I drive Joe's car, brushing my hand over the gleaming paintwork before turning the key in the ignition and speeding off, leaving the swirl of emotions behind me as my mind concentrates on the feel of the road and the roar of the engine underneath me.

I arrive at Bianchi HQ to a sea of vehicles - a large proportion of them are vintage sports cars, lined up near the entrance to the building, with one space left for Joe's car at the front. I pull into the space and take a moment for myself before entering the crowd of mourners. Joe was influential within the Bianchi team, but he was also well known across the grid - although there is a proliferation of red, I also spot the greens, blues and oranges of other teams in attendance.

The building's large atrium is the perfect place for the event, and I am greeted by Kate, holding out a champagne flute towards me. "I figured you might need this?" she questions before handing the glass over. I take a sip of the cool bubbles and try to relax.

"Have you seen Andrea? I assume he will make his speech from the balcony?" I ask, before taking another sip of my drink and looking up.

"Yes, I think so - the lectern is already set up there. There's a video first though - It's scheduled before the speech, just to give you the heads up," Kate replies. I want to continue to speak with her - her presence is comforting to me, but a group of well-wishers have formed around me, and I know that I need move on. I give Kate a nod and smile of thanks as the team principal of Aerial Racing moves in to offer me condolences. Although we've not seen each other in years, I'm reminded of his closeness with Joe as he speaks with fondness about their time on the grid together. Not for the first time, I think about Danny's offer about joining their team.

As I am chatting to some of Joe's old mechanic friends, I see Lorenzo approach me. His dark hair is glossy and brushed back, but his stubble is showing - he looks a little rougher than I am used to seeing - no doubt because he had a big night celebrating another win.

"Hello Miss Annie. I am so sorry for your loss," he says as he pulls me into an Italian double kiss - I notice that he lingers perhaps a little longer than requisite, but I don't move away - his kindness is comforting in the moment as my emotions continue to swirl. There's an unexpected familiarity to his actions, and an intimacy that catches me off guard.