KEEPER (GxG)

49. Her Feelings

A couple of days after the celebration of Lisanna coming back, Makarov pulled me away from the others as he said that he wants to talk about something to me. I was confused about it and follow him up until we reach the second floor. And from here, i can see everyone doing their usual things as Natsu and Gray gets on their bickerings. While some of them were minding their own businesses.

I let out a sigh and turn my head to look at Makarov.

“ What is it?” i asked.

He didn't say anything as he just watched everyone from up here. But my head turn to him again when he decided to talk.

“ I was thinking.. ” he started. “ If you want to participate on the thing that.. will happen in a few days. The trial for the S Class wizard will happen soon and since you're not an S Class wizard, i want to ask you if you're interested in joining”

I blink my eyes for a moment before i look away from him and think of it. My eyes then fell on everyone and a small smile appear on my face.

“ No.. i think someone is more deserving to have that chance. I don't really need to have that title and besides I'll be going somewhere in a few days..” i said and he turn his head to me with a look of confusion on his face but i just shrug my shoulders at him.

There's a silence that fell on us for a moment before he turns to me again and stare for a few seconds making me raise my eyebrows at him.

“ What is going on with you and Erza? Don't think i wouldn't noticed that little glances when she's not looking at you, eh” he said and i look away blinking a few times.

“ I don't know what you're talking about” i said before my eyes fell on Erza who's talking to Wendy and Lucy.

“ You've been alone for hundreds of years.. when will you let yourself be happy for once?” he said as my eyes widen a bit as i turn to him.

Sighed.

“ I wasn't alone.. i have you and everyone here, don't i?” i answered slowly as my eyes roam around inside the guild, watching the smiles on their faces and a small one form on mine too.

“ You know what I'm talking about, Enlil. Your eyes can't lie to me. The look in your eyes says otherwise and they are the only part of our body that shows what you truly felt inside your heart. And it's telling me.. that despite of being around everyone, you still felt that you're alone” he said and i stare at him in shock.

How could he see through me? I thought as my lips parted a bit.

I know that i have them, they got my back and i have theirs and it's really making me feel that I'm not alone by myself but even though I'm always around and they drag me along with them, on the inside there's some part of me that still felt alone.. that something is missing. While i don't think much about it, this time it really makes me wonder and think about it. But then..

Sigh. I blink a few times.

“ I am” i whispered. “ I do felt like that.. like something are still missing despite of everyone trying to make me feel that i belong here.  Thinking about it before didn't gave me really an answer but now.. i think, i know what that is..”

“ Then what's stopping you? Now that you finally see it, shouldn't you be doing something about it?” he asked turning his head to me.

My jaw clench a bit as my eyes fell on her.

“ It's not that easy, Makarov”

“ How so?” he said and i took a deep breath before letting it out shakily.