When The Storm Comes (When We're Older alternative ending)

on my side

Newt

I had been looking at the sky for hours before someone came and brought me back to reality.

Something had pulled me from our work to stand barefoot on the beach and look up at the heavens. With my feet sinking into the soft sand below, I yearned for my love. It got worse every day. I felt incomplete without her, the simplest things reminding me of her, and in those moments it was almost as though I could hear her laugh from beside me, or feel her presence. When I realized she wasn't there, the hole in my chest grew bigger, and I had to remove myself from whatever I was doing to immerse myself back into the maps and pages of research.

It had been about three weeks since we'd lost her. Technically she wasn't dead—she was the farthest thing from dead here. I convinced Vince to help me look for her, even if we had no idea where to even start. I hadn't spoken to Thomas or Minho since my outburst, but rumor has it that they've been helping as well, just not when I was around. Everyone around the Safe Haven was doing something to help the search—whether it was eavesdropping on conversations or coming up with a possible new location on the map.

Standing there on the beach, I felt more lonely than ever. The words she spoke in the dream I had last night played over and over in my head, repeating and torturing me with every syllable she spoke. I guess it wasn't so much a dream, but more of a flashback.

My brain took me back to our first fight. The words I spoke, and the tears that fell from her eyes. I remembered telling her that if something were to happen to her I'd end up blaming myself. I had yelled at her not because I was upset she tried to save me, but because I was scared. Scared that I almost lost her, and scared that it would have been because of me.

Turns out that bloody fight didn't age very well.

I remembered her response...

"If something happened to you and I wasn't there to help... I care about you too much to not blame it on myself."

I flinched as I remembered the words. I flinched as I remembered saying them back to her a few minutes later.

Why wasn't I more careful? Would this have happened if I had just brought her with us when we were going to save Minho? Why didn't I tell her to stay with Brenda?

Our previous argument had foreshadowed where we are now, and I was only just realizing it. Maybe our verbalized fears had unknowingly affirmed our downfall, her capture. If I had just—

"Hey, Newt!" A cheerful voice spoke up from behind, tearing me out of my dark thoughts.

I turned my head slowly, not wishing to speak to the girl who skipped her way down the beach, yellow hair flowing behind her as she moved. For a moment, just a fraction of a second, I saw Mae in her. Her bright colored hair was replaced with a dark brown, envious green eyes now a comforting bright blue. And for only a moment, my heart leaped with the strange feeling of joy.

"Aren't you coming for dinner?" Greta's high pitched voice caused me to blink, and the sadness returned.

I lowered my head, not being able to look at her anymore. "Maybe later, Greta."

She sighed and placed her hands on her hips. "Thomas said he found a town a few miles from here." She spat out, and only then did the information strike my interest. "He went hunting a few days ago and said he came across a village of some sort... Lots of people. But that's all I got before Minho kicked me out."

I turned my body toward her, chills running up my spine. "Where is he?"

"If you come to dinner with me, I'll tell you."