I sat in my room alone. I say to myself all the time I have a heart of stone and nothing could ever break me, but loosing my mom broke my heart.
I cannot shake the fact that she's gone.
I've cried every day since she paseed.
She wanted to be cremated so I followed her wishes. I kept some of her ashes and I spread the some in her favorite places. I just don't know how to accept the fact that she's gone.
My dad has been abusing me more since she died. He blames me for it, like it was my fault. He never even went to see her. He says that I should have made sure she was in better care, and I did. It isn't my fault, I would have done anything I could to keep her here. I loved my mom with all my heart she was my rock. Just like my friend Sodapop Curtis, he's got movie star good looks like a model or something. He has an older brother named Darryl and a younger brother named Ponyboy. Soda has a best friend named Steve who works at the DX with Soda. Steve has animal like teeth and nice facial features. Then there's Two-bit he's a drunk always drinking and cracking jokes. An Johnny Cade, a tall,skinny boy with dark skin. He's afraid of every and a nervous wreck just about all the time. His parents abuse him, so I understand how he feels. As for Soda he's also like my rock, last summer when I was visiting my uncle Buck in Tulsa, Oklahoma, I was sad about how I'm treated by my dad and Soda helped me through it.
I wish that he was here right now so
I decided to give him a call.
"Hello?"
"Steve! How are you? This is Kayla."
"Kayla! I'm good how are you?"
"Good. I miss you."
"I miss you too. So does Soda and everyone else."
"Awh thanks. Can you put Soda on?"
"Yeah. Hold on." "Soda! Phone it's Kayla. He'll be right there." Steve almost yelled into the phone. Then about a minute later Soda came to the phone.
"Hey Kayla! How are you?"
"I'm good. How about you?"
"Good. When you comin' to visit?"
"This summer just six more months. I hope that I can move out there with Buck but I don't think I can."
"That sucks. What would have to happen for you to move in with him?"
"My asshole so called father would have to die or something."
"Oh well I'm sorry. How are you holding up about your mom? I know she passed and I know it's hard."
"I'm better. I'll never fully be over it.
I was really close to my mom. I loved her more than anything." Soda had lost both if his parents in an accident. Now Darryl "Darry" takes care of him and Ponyboy.
"Yeah I know. Well hey I gotta go. Later"
"Alright later."
Then I hung up the phone and there was a knock on the door. I wondered who it could be. I looked through the peep hole but didn't see anyone.
When I opened the door there was no one there but there was a note taped to the door. I unfolded it and began reading it.
Hey Kayla, I've gotten into some trouble the fuzz don't know that it was me who knocked the store last night.
An I'm not sticking around for them to find out. I'm leaving New York, I don't know where I'm going I'm just going to hop on a train and see where it takes me. I'll try to call and let you know I'm alive.
I know that we will cross paths again.
I know me leaving like this isn't a good thing, you will probably hate my guts if you ever see me again. I know your strong and your tough as hell. Your the toughest girl I've ever seen. I know your going to be Okay. I'm wearing my ring since you left it yesterday after our fight. I'm sorry it's ending like this.
I hope to see you again one day.
It's been one hell of a ride in the short time that I've known you.
I remember saying I think you met your match Merrill, but no I met my match. I'm glad I did too. Anyway until we meet again or if we ever do, hell just might freeze. I love you Kayla. You'll always be in my heart. An I know you'll try to come after me but by the time you finish reading this I'll already be gone. Please don't do anything stupid. -love Dallas.
I leaned against the wall and slid down til I was sitting on the floor.
I lost my mom only two weeks ago, now I lost Dallas the one person who understood me. I don't know what to do now. I wish I knew where he was going, I hope that he at least calls. I held on to the dogtags that Dallas had given me. I realized that I was crying when a tear dropped from my cheek and hit the cold floor. Then I heard someone coming up the steps I was hoping it wasn't my dad. It turned out it was god why, why now. I can't deal with this shit anymore.
"Get up you stupid bitch, go make me some damn dinner." I got up and then he slapped me across my face, I fell to the floor from the hit. God I hate him, my mom told me to just kill him but I just can't. I really should though, there's just the risk of prison and if I get that I'll never see Dallas again. Hell I might not even see Dallas again now that he's gone away. I got up and fixed his dinner and then I made his plate and took it to him. Then I walked to my room and snuck out the window. I walked next door to my best friends house. I knocked on the door and luckily she answered.
"Hey girl. We can sit outside and talk the house is a mess."
"It's fine. Why are there so many boxes?"
"Oh, yeah about that we're moving to California, my dad got a real good job. An he can't turn it down, so we have to go I'm sorry girl."
"It's alright, I understand."
"Why do you look like you've been crying I just noticed that. I'm sorry."
"Dallas left me this morning. He left a note saying he was leaving. I just lost my mom then Dallas now you. I can't take much more of this." I said handing her the note. She read over it. I broke down in tears something I don't like doing in front of people.
"Oh icy I'm so sorry girl. You're gonna find someone your a damn good lookin' broad. An if you and Dallas are meant to be together you will be. An hey I'm only a phone call away. I'll call you as soon as I can okay."
"Okay. Thanks girl. Well I'm gonna let you get to packing."
"Okay. I'll call love you."
"Love you too." Then I walked home, I went back inside through my window. All I wanted to do was lie down and sleep. An that's exactly what I did. I hoped that I'd never wake up. I might loose more people I care about. Then I realized if I never wake up I'll never see Dallas again. An that's something that I don't want to happen. I hope that I see him again one day.
