The Spook Origins

Loss

It's been a few days since he passed, two days I've been on my own. Been breaking into abandoned homes sleeping in them along with stealing food. i could go back to May's but I can't face her after what I did. Ever since his death I've been feeling guilt for leaving him. It's the first time I've ever felt this way. All I can see when I sleep is me abandoning him leaving him to his death by Kingpin. I know he wasn't killed by an earthquake. It's to a point I don't even think about getting home. All I think about is everything that happened.

Today they were going to hold a funeral and I decided to attend but from a distance. Didn't think I had the right to attend in person. Seems like a lot of people showed up to pay their respects which shouldn't surprise me since he was this city's hero. It also soon began to snow, seems winter is beginning to sink in. So I pulled my hood up to bring more warmth for my ears and to stop the snow from hitting my head. I was watching the funeral from a rooftop not too far from the cemetery.

Wish I had brought a better jacket if I knew it was going to snow. Looking down over the crowd I also saw the kid he saved that night but in a badly put together spiderman costume with a jacket over it. Must have bought it at the store recently. I've been keeping an eye on him from a distance like Peter asked but nothing more. I can't teach him like Peter could. I'm no teacher. Suddenly someone dropped down next to me. Looking over I saw it was other universe Gwen.

"Get out of here. Not in the mood to deal with you", I said, continuing to watch the funeral. Hearing footsteps I heard her sit down next to me.

"I mean it, keep pushing it or you won't like what happens. I'm already angry with things at the moment and you here aren't helping", I said not looking at her.

"I had a feeling you already met this earth's Spider-man after our last meeting. He probably had a plan to send you back. So you must have been with him when he died right?"

Soon everything went flashing through my mind. The fight between who I now know was the green goblin and the prowler. Peter trying to stop the collider but is grabbed by Goblin. Then my failure to free him. His words still go through my head. Don't hate the world? how can I do that if all it does is take from me!? In a moment of rabe I slammed my fist next to where I was sitting creating a crack.

"Yeah I was there when he died and I was the fucking reason he died"

"Don't say....

"WHAT DO YOU KNOW!!", I said whipping my head at her. Her eyes went wide as she stood up taking a step back. I stood up glaring at her as I approached her, making her step back.

"You don't know me! You don't know what happened! You don't know the things I've been through! and even worse...you don't know MY ANGER!!". As I said each word she backed up as I continued to walk up to her until she hit a wall. Then right when I finished I punched right next to her head my fist almost breaking through.

"So tell me Gwen Stacy, what.do.you.know?", I said before backing off. Turning around I began to walk off feeling like I've been here long enough.

"I know what it's like to lose someone and blame yourself". I stopped in my tracks hearing that but I didn't turn around.

"In my universe I also had a Peter Parker like here but he didn't become spider-man. He was my best friend and helped me in my toughest times but it didn't last. You see he viewed Spider-woman as his idol and wanted to be just like her to a point he...experimented on himself. He was bullied at school and mixed with his views of spider-woman made him feel weak and helpless to a point he created a serum meant to give him powers turning him into a lizard monster. I stopped him but he ended up being killed. I blamed myself for his death and I still do". A silence soon filled the area except for the breeze moving over the rooftop. Even though I couldn't see her I sensed she had tears in her eyes.

"You have a father and mother?", I suddenly asked, not knowing why I said it.

"My mother passed away when I was younger due to poor health. I was mainly raised by my father who is also a police officer"

"Then answer me this, what would you do to the man who killed them both?"

"...I would bring him in"

"Then I guess you'll never understand me then because I put my parents' killer in a coma", I said this while looking over my shoulder. Her eyes went wide leaving us in silence.

"I don't know what your Jack is like in your universe but let me let you in on how I am. After my parents death I became bitter and full of anger. Began to not care about anything which included school and socializing with others. It led me to acting out in different ways from pranks to spraying graffiti around New york. Once I got my powers I became worse, already mentioned what I did to their killer but then I started using being a vigilante as an excuse to hurt people. And I liked it", I said looking down at my hands. Thinking about the multiple people I've fought over the year and half I've been the spook.

"It was a way to deal with my anger which I'm aware is bad but it helped none the less. I hate the world for taking the two people who meant the most to me. If there is a god in my world then he can go to hell where he would belong!". My hands were now clenched in anger as I looked down at the ground.

"Before he died he said I was meant for great things but I don't see it. For the first time in forever I felt guilt when I left him there to die even when he told me to go. I continue to feel guilt and remorse when before I didn't feel a hint of it. How can someone with so much anger and hatred be meant for good things? HOW CAN I!?!". Turn around my anger was fully let out as all the emotions from the past few days came boiling over. It felt like a dam was let loose full of emotion. Gwen stood with her hands over her mouth not sure what to say.

"your crying". Reaching up I felt my face feeling the tears. I can't remember the last time I cried but these weren't tears of sadness but of anger. Anger at myself and the mistakes I've made. Anger at the world and what it's turning me into. Anger of regret.

"Just go, I need to be alone", I said, beginning to walk away. I snapped around when I heard her approach me.

"I SAID GO!! I'm not the Jack you knew. You can't do anything for me". She stopped in her tracks before backing away. I walked toward the edge of the rooftop dropping into the alley.

Walking out I noticed everyone left the cemetery leaving it empty. Looking at the cemetery I can tell which grave was Peters based on the flowers and amount of Spider-man themed mementos left. Looking around I noticed no one was really around so I jumped over the fence in a single bound walking to his grave. Once I got to his grave I stood in front of it thinking about what I could have done to stop his death or what he would tell me now. Then I remembered the voice in my head.

"So guardian angel, any advice for this lost soul. Seems you've been a massive help so far", i said out loud thick with sarcasm. Though I was surprised to get an answer.

Your path is one of hardships, Jack Parker. Hardship that makes you very different from other Spider-men making you unique. The only thing you lack is purpose which you will find during your time in this universe.

"how do I find this purpose and why have you taken such an interest in me?"

Because in the coming years you will play an important role in another's journey and the safety of the multiverse. Your darker view of the world makes you unique from other spider-man. It allows you to go a distance others would not. To know your own path you must watch another's.

"Wait, do you mean the kid Peter saved?"

Watch and show Miles Morales the path he must take. Then you will find your purpose and the Destiny that will be yours.

After that there was silence. Looking down at Peter's grave I came to a decision. Bending down on one knee I placed a hand on Peter's grave. Written on it was "Loving Husband and nephew, Hero to all", fitting words.

"I promise you Peter, I'll help the kid as best as I can though I won't do well. I was put in your universe for a reason. It's time I find out why"