Zac&fatima unseen

Really listening

Dr.Reid: Zac do you want to marry Fatima?
Zac takes a deep breath annoyed at the question.
Zac: of course I want to marry her, I asked.
Dr. Reid: then start the process, tell Fatima how you feel. How you really feel don't sugarcoat anything. She can handle the truth.
Zac: she's going to leave me just like every other woman I've dated, just like my mother. She's going to leave me. I poured my heart out to her. I thought by proposing and showing her I'm seriously committed to our relationship that, that would keep her.
Fatima: Zac I'm not leaving you!

Dr.Reid: Fatima this is his truth, let him speak.

Zac: Fatima really, how many times have you taken the ring off? How many times have you left our house? How many times have you told me to get out? Yet, you promised you would never leave me for anyone or anything. It's so easy for you to take the ring off man,
Dr: Reid: how do you feel when she takes her engagement ring off?

Zac: I feel like she's not committed to our relationship. I mean, we've been through some shit. But I never left her unless she asked me to . I stay. I try to reassure her that whatever it is, we in it together. She said as long as I tell her the truth, we can work through it. HOW CAN WE WORK THOUGH ANYTHING IF SHE ALWAYS LEAVES!!

Dr: Reid: Ok Zac calm down

Zac: Naw man, I told her about my mother leaving me, and what does she do? The same damn thing!
I'm trying to be good to her I swear! I want her, I want my kids, I want this family. But her being able to just walk away when shit gets rough, I can't handle that. NO MATTER WHAT i would not walk away. I would never just abandon her and my kids, NEVER!! But not her, nope she can walk away and not look back.

Fatima is in tears and unable to speak, she has her head in her lap and damn near hyperventilating.

Dr.Reid: I think now is a good time for a break, let's calm down and take a breather.
Fatima: excuse me I need to use the restroom.
Zac just watched her walk out the room. Shaking his head.
Dr: Reid: Zac what are you feeling right now?

Zac: I'm mad. I'm frustrated, I'm hurt. Pick one Doc.
Dr: Reid: which emotion is the strongest?
Zac hesitated to speak, with his head in his lap, he yelled out "FUCK"!!
Zac: I would never leave her, this women saw something in me when I couldn't see it in myself. I was broke and broken and she looked at me like I was riches man alive. She gave me a place to stay. She stroked my ego, she loved me back from my brokenness. I wanted to be better because of her. When I got on and started making money I just wanted to spoil her. I can't believe we are here now.

Dr.Reid: Zac do you think Fatima feels secure in you alls relationship?

Zac: No, and that's the problem, because I swear I have tried to make sure she knows it's me and her.
Fatima: I do know it's me and you.
Zac: then why is it so easy for you to take my ring off ? Look it's not on now!
Fatima walked completely in the room and took her seat. She faced Zac instead of Dr.Reid.

Fatima: I'm trying to work on my insecurities in our relationship, but it's not that it's easy for me to take my ring off, it's not Zac.
Zac: then why do you do it when you know how it makes me feel?
Fatima: Zac, I put up with a lot from you.
Zac: and I don't?
Fatima: I'm not going back and forth with you
Zac: it's not back and forth. You don't like that I can show you that we both,  not just me, but we both put up with each other's stuff. The difference is I don't leave.

Dr: Reid: if I can interject, Zac it seams like the common anomaly in your gripe with Fatima is her leaving or walking away from your relationship. That comes from your mother leaving you.

Zac: yeah man, and she knows that. I trusted you with my truth as hard as it was for me to be vulnerable and share it with you, you still chose to leave.

Zac started to tear up, and get emotional. You can tell he was uncomfortable with Dr.Reid seeing this from him. He shifted his body facing the opposite direction.
Fatima: Zac......I didn't....
Dr. Reid: I think this is a good time to stop for today. A lot was said and a lot of emotions were felt. I want you both to give each other some space. I know that's going to be hard being as you have kids. But I want you both to explore separate space. When we meet I want you both to write on a piece of paper what you won't do to disrespect the other, and one sentence of what you both would do to honer one another.  I hear both sides and really what I hear is Fatima feels disrespected by an event and Zac feels disrespected by a event. When you're in a relationship it's important that you find out your persons love language but also what they view as disrespect. On our next joint session we will be discussing each other's insecurities. Fatima I will see you Monday, Zac Tuesday and I'll see you both Wednesday.

As they exited the office. Zac walked Fatima to her car in silence. There was an awkward silence. Like they both wanted to say something but both afraid to.
Zac: look I'm sorry how I reacted at your job today.
Fatima: Zac I'm not messing with Paul.
Zac: it doesn't mean he doesn't want to mess with you.
Fatima: Zac... stop
Zac: text me when you get home please.
Fatima: Where you staying?
Zac: the four seasons downtown
Fatima: are you ok?
Zac: Call me if you need anything Fatima.