The Beatles Imagines ❤️

| Paul |

TW: heavy mention of suicide and depression

You wanted to cry. You so badly wanted to let the salty tears stream down your face, but you bottled up your feelings to the point of no release.
You read your book on your chair, bored out of you mind, wanting your depressive episode to leave, but it already settled in for it's long vacation.
The door opened, and you knew Paul was home, which made you smile, because the only time you were happy was when you were with him.
You scurried to the door and enveloped him into a hug.
"Woah, someone missed me!" He smiled, giving you a hug and kissing you.
"Obviously." Carissa grinned.
"Well, I missed you too, my darling. I'm going to go shower, ok?" He told her.
"Ok." She smiled.
Paul left to take a shower. Carissa slumped back into her chair and looked at her legs, degrading herself on how ugly she was. It was habit by now. Ever since she got acne in middle school, she started to starve and criticize herself.
She put down her book and hugged her knees, burying her face in her stomach. She wanted to cry, but she simply didn't have the energy.
She decided to go upstairs and get her work bag, which contained all of the papers she needed to grade. She was a teacher, and the grades were due by the end of the week, making it very stressful for Carissa because she was in charge of 120-something students, and she had to keep track of everyone's grades and reach out to her students if they had work missing so she could finish grading their work as well.
She felt tears sting her eyes as she struggled to contain her emotions.
She put her bag on the floor, drooping to the floor and leaning against her and Paul's bed. She felt her throat tighten as a lump formed in it and she silently cried, but she smiled bitterly that she was finally able to shed the tears. She turned and saw Paul, wet hair and all, his beige towel hanging low on his hips, which made pink rush to Carissa's cheeks, even though she was in such a terrible state.
The bedroom was set up in a way that Paul couldn't see Carissa crying, which was a good thing.
Paul got dressed in his blue and red striped pajamas, turning to leave the room when he saw Carissa crying.
"Riss, what are you doing up here?" He asked as he encased her in his arms, allowing her to cry into his chest.
"Getting my-papers-to grade." She said shakily.
"What's wrong?" He asked her, concern heavily noticeable in his voice.
"It's just-I hate how I look. Absolutely hate. I have so much to do at school-I shouldn't even be complaining, considering how much you have to do with your job. I'm so selfish and I'm so ugly. I hate my laugh. I'm so annoying even though I try to be nice to everyone. I'm just so depressed. I've always said "I want to kill myself" but I've never actually wanted to die. Well, I've never thought of death very thorough enough when I say that. I'm scared to die, Paulie, and whenever I think of anyone leaving me, I just want to stop everything. I want to disappear. These two girls talk bad about me even though all I am is nice to them. They're fucking snakes. They don't understand how mentally damaging it is to be mean to others. I don't know what I'm doing wrong-I thought I was nice to everyone. And to make matters worse I'm ugly. They have to look at me. I'm so lonely. I sound so pathetic, don't I? The only time I'm happy is when I'm with you. And I haven't cried in so long because I just don't have the energy. I'm so numb. Nothing interests me. I'm so depressed and sad I have no reason to be! I just-I". Carissa felt a panic attack coming on, she was so nervous. She rubbed her chest in pain as she took short, frequent breaths.
Tears were filling Paul's eyes as he heard the love of his life degrade himself, but he had to stay calm for her.
"Breathe with me, Rissa. Deep breaths." He told her, placing her hand on his pajama shirt covered chest.
Carissa eventually calmed down, burying her face into Paul's chest as she cried.
He stroked her hair and tried not to let his tears fall onto her head.
"Carissa, listen and look at me, darling." He ordered softly as he lifted up her chin with his fingers.
She hesitated.
"You're beautiful." He told her.
She looked up at him with her tear-filled blue eyes, her face bare and glowing. His heart pained.
"Carissa, you are the most beautiful girl I have ever laid eyes on. You are also the kindest, most selfless girl I've ever met. Screw those girls. They are jealous. They are snakes. The devil's monopoly piece. They are terrible. People suck. If they don't want to recognize your loyalty and kindness, your caring and compassionate personality, then to hell with them! Sorry I'm sounding like John." Carissa smiled wearily, which made Paul smile. "Please don't doubt yourself, my love. Don't ever do anything to hurt yourself, you never ever deserve that. Please don't, my love. I don't know what I would do without you." Paul said, his voice cracking as tears rolled silently down his cheeks. He was never one for emotion, but knowing how much the love of his life was suffering made him come to his breaking point. "You," he swallowed, regaining his composure, "You are worth more than you ever know, Carissa. You are stunning, and kind, and an Angel. I love you so much you have no idea. You obviously have a lot going on. I'll help you get through it. If it takes forever to make you a fraction as happy as you make me, my darling, I'll try my hardest. I love you so much. Don't ever underestimate yourself. You are perfect." He kissed her forehead, hugging her tight.
Tears filled up in Carissa's eyes once again.
"Thank you so much, Paul. I love you more than life itself." She hugged him.