Kairn-
It's not simple to say
Most days I don't recognize me
That these black shoes and this black apron
That place and its patrons
Have taken more than I gave them
It's not easy to know
I'm not anything like I used to be
Although it's true
I was never attention's sweet center
I still remember that girl
She's imperfect but she tries
She is good but she lies
She is hard on herself
She is broken and won't ask for help
She is messy but she's kind
She is lonely most of the time
She is all of this mixed up
And baked in a beautiful pie
She is gone but she used to be mine
It's not what I asked for
Sometimes life just slips in through a back door
And carves out a person
And makes you believe it's all true
And now I've got you
And you're not what I asked for
If I'm honest I know I would give it all back
For a chance to start over
And rewrite an ending or two
For the girl that I knew
Who'll be reckless just enough
Who'll get hurt
But who learns how to toughen up when she's bruised
And gets used by a man who can't love
And then she'll get stuck
And be scared of the life that's inside her
Growing stronger each day
'Til it finally reminds her
To fight just a little
To bring back the fire in her eyes
That's been gone wow .
I have never realize that my life could be in a movie or something or technically it could but I just don't wanna go that far yet. There's just so much more that I want to do before I have somebody to trade me on the movie staying but you know lots of people think when you're chronically ill but it's all about the pity party that's not the case I get up every day happy and I or most days happy and I try to keep going because I want everyone to know that just because things are rough you shouldn't give up you should keep trying you know I was always told that I wouldn't make much of my life and now I have a miracle baby but I cannot think about it because my biggest thing now is hoping other people like me and always always going through and through things because I don't really think I need other people to to tell me what I can,
cannot go only I get to the side where I can, and cannot go and my husband he's my biggest supporter. He always tells me that I can do whatever I want to do all that makes me happy beyond belief so for me and I'm like put on my smile to I'm gonna keep on going and try to raise awareness for people like me and I try to get different like I'm trying to get more people to understand the importance of service dogs and just because you can't see a persons illness iPad and I want you to know that not all disabilities invisible you see PTSD
you can't look into a persons head and the one thing I think that irritates me the most is lots of people think that people in wheelchairs are lazy or just because you can drive the car and walk a few blocks that doesn't mean you need a wheelchair wheelchair is come in many different forms.
I am so tired of people telling me that you don't know what you're doing in your life stop getting pity that's not what I'm trying to I'm trying to help others. I'm trying to make others realize that you know everybody goes through different struggles so please don't minimize peoples pain and stop telling them you know how they can and cannot do you like because I got a secret for you you can struggle and still be a decent person but unfortunately with society and how it is, I don't think people realize that.
