Felix-
something has been hanging over my head like a dark cloud, running on a rainy day I felt ill I couldn't quite put my finger on it. It was like a seizure of PTSD and it made me sad. Well, you may wonder from you might wonder why I'm so sad. I just can't believe that my boss poisoned us last year at this time and well when you get Waze and you don't really think much about it you don't think much about it you try not to let it affect you try not to let it affect you, but sometimes it just happens like that sometimes I still have nightmares of hearing Madagascar breath and air but at least she survive. That's what people tell me that still doesn't take away or invalidate the fact that I watched love of my life have a seizure and gas for air and have eyes roll in the back of her head it maid me ill and my whole world is spinning upside down.
I've got so so sick when I thought about that I want to the bathroom because I felt nauseous. I didn't tell Mani anything I didn't want to tell her I didn't want Maddie to freak out on me so I ignored her for the time being I didn't want to ignore her that's just how it kind of worked out I guess cause I didn't want Maddie to feel the scary. The scariest of the situation ship so beautiful curled up with melody. Melody was looking more like 90 by the minute which made my heart swell. Cherity had a pretty long brown hair that Maddie had before she lost at the chemo, which was that she was healthy and didn't have to go through as much treatment. She still had cancer, but it wasn't anything severe like to the extent that Maddie had it really very lucky that we were treated for two years and have stayed in remission, but I know that any given time it could come back I begin and begin to cry .
I didn't know what to do. I decided not to let it affect me why you may ask because I don't want to think of the negative. I don't want to think about what if Melody dies I just wanna enjoy the times I had with her and Maddie because if I would've been focusing on what if Maddie dies? When I first met her well, I would've had her die on me because my boss poisoned her to make sure that she wouldn't get back up, but even after he poisonous, and we all went to cardiac arrest we were all able to retrieve ourselves, and it made me happy it made me so happy to have to make it to another day and have her with me. I didn't know what to think about it, but I will just continue to be grateful each and every day I tell myself just how lucky I am to have Maddie because there are people who don't have to have a happy ever after and I wanna happy ever after and I'm blessed to have that happy ever after now we need to figure out how we are going to come together and put JYP Entertainment away for good.
