I think Wattpad is cursed. Because I sign in. Then suddenly I'm married and nothing else really. I'm not actually married I mean I'm 13. I don't even like my wife that way. I actually like someone else, but I can't tell her. Why is life so complicated?
My crush is like a really good friend of mine, sad I don't wanna ruin anything between us. My dad says that I just have to tell her, but I'm scared. I wanna just lie down and scream into my pillow right now, and all that other shit. I mean I act alright around her I guess, but it's not that easy.
We have an inside joke in our friend group like it's not original or anything, we just call each other and ourselves emo and shit. So I was jokingly singing that song that goes like "I fell involved whit a emo girl" and one of my friends went like "you did". How did she know that!? I haven't told her anything. Am I that bad at hiding it? Does my crush know?
I just wanna scream really. I wanna go like: AAAAAAAAAAAAAASSWAHDHFJVJKYRJFUJ4RXYXHTIFUIUFAAAAAAAA you know?
I dont even know if I'll publish this. This is stupid. I'm stupid.
I have like 3 friends, two of them are moving and I'm in love with one of them. This is hell. The thought of not seeing her everyday makes me wanna kill myself, or cry.
I feel like my life has become an actual fanfic. Like, I'm inlove and my love is moving, and I'm also married, but I don't love my wife. Plus my best friend is growing tired of my nonsense, since I have told her about this like 10000000 times.
I dont even know why I'm writing this.
I want to talk to someone I guess. I'm not sure, but it feels nice writing it down.
My psychiatrist says I have trauma, but I don't remember it. What's that supposed to mean. Nobody tells me exactly what's going on either, and when they do its always very different. I don't know what to belive.
I think I should take a break from social media, I mean according ti tiktok I have all kinds of diagnoses, and that scares me.
I dont know what else to write here so bye
