Shattered Illusions

Chapter 7 - It's okay not to be okay.

Alyssa's POV:

I don't know what came over me today. When he whispered those words in my ear, I couldn't help but feel heat coursing throughout my body. I knew I was attracted to him by the way I was eye fucking him in the hospital, but then when he touched me and held me by my waist, I almost melted in his arms. God, even his touch electrifies the hell out of me. When he took me to my room and provoked me, I just became all hot and bothered and angry at myself for actually wanting to do those things. So, I slapped him thinking that would create some much-needed distance between us and I would be able to finally breathe without him hovering over me. He looked angry. Uh-oh I was kinda afraid that he would beat me up in retaliation of the slap. I didn't want any more bruises. I was just about to panic, but he suddenly crashed his lips against mine. I was fucking shocked. No matter how hard I try to deny it, I knew I also wanted a taste of him. So, I kissed him back. Hard.

And now here I am lying on his bed, with him over me kissing my body hungrily. He sucked on the sweet spot of my neck, licking it and kissing it. His lips trailed down my body, licking the path as his tongue circled my nipples, sucking them into his mouth, biting them gently. I gasped at the sudden sensation. I am fucked. Literally. I was enjoying it too much, more than I should. I tugged at his t-shirt wanting him to remove it. He smirked and removed his t-shirt quickly, while I admired the men in front of me. God has indeed taken his sweet time carving this one. "Aw don't drool princess." My eyes widened as I quickly covered my mouth with my hand hoping to wipe it off. But there was nothing. Ugh fucker. He can never let me think that he is almost bearable. "Asshole" He raised his eyebrows and lean towards me again, his eyes darkening. Shit, it's really not good to make him angry while he is horny. He kissed me again aggressively as his hand reached down to rub me through my panties. I was already wet but now it seemed to be getting out of control. I was a moaning mess by now. "Pleaseee" His lips quirked upwards. The bastard is actually amused as I am dying here to get off my high somehow. "Please what?" I pushed him wanting to get away from the intensity of his fingers, but he just held me tighter. "Please let me cum. Please" This seemed to do the trick. He tore off my panties in half quickly and lowered himself between my legs. He started eating me out with his tongue moving up and down my pussy rapidly. It was getting hard to breathe. I clutched the sheets tighter till my knuckles turned white. His mouth covered my pussy so well, he was eating and drinking from it so aggressively as if it is his last meal and he couldn't afford to waste a single drop. "Alexxxxx" He looked at me for an instant and as my eyes met his, he pinched my clit, sending me over the edge. "Fuckkkkkk, oh god"

He stood up and stared at me with a smug smile on his face, looking all victorious in his naked glory. So much for never letting you touch, Allysa. His dick stood all proud and very hard. It's only fair that I return the favor. As he wiped his lips with the back of his hand, I sat straighter and took his dick in my hands. Damn, he is big. His eyes widened slightly, and he nodded, waiting for me to continue. I began to rub him up and down at a slow pace at first, but then quickly increasing it. He grunted. "Fuck" The precum collected at the tip of his member. I licked it and began to take him in my mouth. I knew I cannot take him fully inside yet, so I grabbed each of his balls with my hands and squeezed them lightly, building pressure. He was breathing raggedly now. I began to swirl my tongue around his dick slowly as if I had all the time in the world. He was getting frustrated. Payback is a bitch buddy. He grabbed my hairs and began pumping himself in my mouth. Oh shit, I forgot he has no patience. My nails dug into his hip as he fucked my mouth with his dick harshly. He slowed down a little as his dick reached the back of my throat and I gagged. Tears welled up in my eyes and it became harder to breathe. He continued to pump inside me.

My mind suddenly went blank for a moment and then the switch flipped again, almost like remembering everything at once, all the images started overlapping each other and it went into a frenzy. I knew I was having a panic attack. The worst one till now. His dick started hitting the back of my throat again as I gagged even more now. I tried to pull from him, but he wouldn't let me. He didn't realize what was happening. My tears now started flowing down my face, but my cries became muffled. Help me, I can't take it anymore. My mind kept going blank and overwhelmed again and again. Please, let me go. I started hitting him lightly on his waist. Finally, he opened his eyes and saw my state. His eyes widened as if they will pop out any second and he pulled out quickly. I started breathing heavily, trying to catch my breath but I couldn't. Shit, I am gonna pass out. The room is spinning and everything is blurred. MAKE IT STOP!! I was seeing so many things at once that I was supposed to forget. I could hear someone's voice in a distance. It was echoing, but I couldn't see who it was. Everything is blurred. "Allysa, listen to me. Allysa, are you there?" I want to say, "Yes, I am. Please pull me out of here." But I have lost my voice. The person is telling me to take deep breaths. I try, but I cannot. I am being picked up in someone's arms and they are carrying me somewhere. I am laid down on a soft bed. The person keeps their hand around my shoulder whispering sweet nothings in my ear. After I manage to breathe a little, I said in a shaky voice, "Help......me..." It still wasn't over. I was crying more and more by now. He asked me to repeat the words he is saying with him. "It's okay not to be okay." I tried slowly, but I was failing miserably. "It's...okay...no--" I choked again. He was consoling me. "It's okay, you can do it. Say it with me. It's okay not to be okay." I tried again and this time, even though in breaks and between sobs, I managed to form the whole sentence. "It's okay......not to...be...(choke)...okay" He smiled proudly at me, but worry was still present in his eyes. This gave me strength. He is here with me. He repeated the mantra again and I started repeating it with him. He said it slowly word by word first so I could match his pace and increased it gradually. "It's okay not to be okay." Now, I was finally saying it more clearly, without as many hiccups and choking.