Shattered Illusions

Chapter 16 - I miss you dad!

Alex's POV:

We finally decided to do the task today we actually came for - sort through my father's things. I'd admit it's gonna be a really tough day. I just wanted to stall it as much as I can so that I would not have to actually deal with the overwhelming emotions and past memories going through everything he touched and gave life to. But Allysa convinced me otherwise. She basically is the only reason I even agreed to do it in the first place.

We went to the farmhouse while Marcus started going through his personal belongings at home. Our home was sorted through once before as well since we needed to transfer at least the basic things. So, I decided to join Marc there later on. But no one had touched the things in farmhouse in years. It had been locked by dad the last time he was there, and no one dared to open it after that. Everything there would just remind us of how dad used to be. I don't know what he wanted to keep there when he visited there last time. I remember he told me it was something very important, but he could not tell me what it was. I was confused but I didn't question much. Dad was always like that, always being a mystery to others. It was raining really heavily outside that night, so I asked him to take the umbrella along. Though he sprinted and shouted behind him, "It's okay son! Sometimes you gotta learn to dance in the rain as well." I smiled at the memory. I knew he didn't just mean rain by that; he was still telling me to never give up in the hard times. I miss you so much dad.

Allysa looked up at me with a sad smile. She knew I was still thinking about him and missing him. We were in the car right now and we were just about to reach. I sighed. She rubbed my arm letting me know she was there with me. I knew she was, that's why I'm able to hold myself up today. I gave her a quick sweet kiss and we got out of the car. The farm was really large. The greenery there was breathtaking because of how many plants and flowers my dad had planted there. We walked in the farm for a while hand in hand. I wasn't just ready yet to go in there. I started talking about random shit and "probable" future plans. She went along with it for a while. But suddenly she stopped in front of the house. She cupped my face in her hands. "Alex, I know you are just trying to stall the process, but no matter when you do it, the waves of pain would remain the same. But I promise you it gets easier. And till then, I'm still here by your side, holding your hand and helping you get through it. After that, if you wouldn't want to get out of the hole then I'd climb inside to sit there with you. But I will be there." I looked at her in the eyes. God, how did I get such a kind and beautiful soul like her. I hugged her tightly. "I know" I whispered. She patted my back. "Come on, let's go inside." I sighed heavily and squeezed her hand.

I opened the lock, and we went inside. There were spider webs in every corner, and dust everywhere. I opened the door wide to let the ventilation happen. It was really warm inside. I looked around. Wow, it has been a really long time. No matter where you look, I can tell you a memory of ours hiding there. We used to spend so much of our time here. "You know there were times I used to get really angry at my parents for something and then run away from home to come hide here. My dad used to come behind me after an hour or two to convince me. Sometimes I just used to be dramatic for his attention. I was really silly in those days." Allysa laughed. "You still are." I chuckled half-heartedly.

We went inside the living room to check it out. The TV and sofa were still there as they were before. "Once I actually got caught by my dad here when I brought a girl home, and we were making out on the couch. Being an army man, he used to walk so silently, we didn't even hear his footsteps. His eyes widened seeing us and he cleared his throat to get our attention. God, we freaked out. But he was so damn calm still then. He sat with us there and gave us a whole lesson of sex education. Man, we were so fucking embarrassed being the teenagers we were." Allysa chuckled. "Damn, you really were a ladies' man in the past, huh?" I smirked and copied her from earlier. "I still am." She glared at me, and I laughed at her reaction.