Rise Up

Chapter 52: I Love You But...

Getting ready for hanging out with my friends after the latest shit, wasn't really my plan, but Arthur basically forced me once back at his home, even choosing my outfit as if he was a fashionista and calling his mother for styling my hair- he said that I needed to put all the possible efforts in looking better than ever tonight because we were finally having some fun together like the old times.

Jimmy'z was the most famous disco in Monte-Carlo so it's useless to say that we were directed there.

"Just to let you know, most of the drivers are here, all in the same VIP booth, with friends and their wags." Arthur said once we entered the disco.

"You've just called their girlfriends Wags, seriously?" I asked him, laughing like crazy.

"Oh, shut up and grab a drink!"

As soon as we reached the others, we got greeted by everyone. Well, everyone apart Lando. He was sat next to his friend Max and Carlos, with an empty bottle of beer in front of him, probably not his as he dislikes enough the alcohol in general.

I was looking for a bit of space to take a seat and hide myself from the crowd of people already having their best time but obviously I got interrupted by Max, who after pulling me in a hug, left me his seat, exactly next to the person I was craving more attention and at the same time I was trying to avoid.

The tension was that evident that the others, now sat there as well, stopped their conversation to analyze the situation. Fortunately Pierre and Arthur release it all, bringing some more drinks for everyone and switching the focus on the songs playing in the background.

All I wanted to do right now was being swallowed by the white sofa behind us, so I could easily escape from the madness of the reality.

The Monegasque I came with, sent me a gaze full of fire, signaling me to do something, before both me and Lando started a fight right now and there.

"Hey." Is all I was able to say, leaning in a bit closer to him, mostly to be heard over the loud music. Although it came out more like a scared whisper, he heard me well, I noticed it from the way his jaw tensed up and his hands curled up in fists across the table.

"Congrats on the podium by the way." I added, trying desperately to catch even for a millisecond a little glare from his.

But it was useless.

He got up, leaving me there alone between all our friends, completely speechless and on the edge of crying my lungs out desperately.

He walked away, leaving my side cold, exactly like I did a few days ago in that stupid flat.

"I need air." I got up too, but not for following him, for heading out and smoke another cigarette. Once at my destination, I got surprised when I found out that my pack was now empty. Completely empty, neither a half cigarette, meaning that in just one week, I've smoked more than half a pack, throwing away all the progress I've collected in these years with the therapy.

More frustrated than before I came back inside. I needed something to calm down but I promised myself to not even touch a drink tonight, as I didn't deserve to let myself have neither a crumb of fun after everything.

I didn't have the guts to walk back to the booth where the others were probably wondering what happened to the fresh new F1-It couple that seemed to want to break down in that moment instead of chatting randomly like normal people do around their mates.

As I didn't have my cigarette, I had a few more minutes, before Arthur or Pierre come to look for me outside, so I decided to spend it upstairs, on the little balcony still in the VIP area upon the dance floor. My hands were closed around the railing while my eyes were roaming around the bunch of dancing bodies under me.