Rise Up

Chapter 40: Rationality

The gym has always been a nightmare, literally the worst part of all the racing career. But now, I don't know why or how, it became a really good way to release any bad mood.

"You should slow down a bit Kiara, don't push too much."

Mike tried to distract me from my squats. We were in our usual gym in Florence. The first week of training post-surgery went very good, better than expected. The knee was responding well to the treatments- it wasn't sore or swollen, it wasn't hurting, I felt only an annoying sensation, above all when bending the leg. Doc said it was a normal collateral effect of the injection of staminas.

"Kiara, let's take a break."

I kept doing my push-ups, still bending on my legs. The brace on the knee was slowly going down because of the repetitive movements.

"Kiara." Mike tried again but my mind was somewhere else. "Stop it."

He grabbed my hands, making the barbell in my hands fall on the floor, almost on my feet.

"Enough! What's this all about? I've never seen you pushed yourself out so much in all my life. What the hell is going on in your mind, huh? Do you really want to hurt yourself again?"

I sighed loudly, making him even more furious.

"I'm your trainer but also, and moreover I would say, your friend. Please, talk to me."

"Lando texted Pierre last week."

When my teammate told me it, I couldn't believe this. The day of the surgery Lando, my boyfriend— well, maybe my now ex-boyfriend, I guess— texted him, asking about me. It was unbelievable. He didn't dare to talk to me, to text me nor call me, but then texted the only person he knew was with me for sure, in one of the most difficult day of my life, knowing my fears, all the risks I was taking, after having talked about it several times.

This call completely ruined my happy mood. I should have celebrated the end of the trial, instead I spent entire days in the gym, trying to let off the steam.

He didn't even have the guts to text me. 

If he really cared about me, as he kept saying to Pierre, he would have came, call me or at least send me a text. But he didn't. He made it pretty clear: he wanted her, not me, he was regretting the past months with me.

Then why did he ask about me? That was one of the questions echoing in my mind lately. 

"What? And then?" Mike was shocked, above all because he had high expectations on Lando, as he was convinced that the driver was the other half of me or whatever philosophical thing you could think of.

"He asked about me. He didn't have the balls to do it personally." 

In my voice, all the angriness, the disappointment, even the sadness was hearable.

"Is he stupid or what?" He asked rhetorically.

"He's not stupid, he's just an asshole." 

Was I a bit too harsh? Maybe, but I think I have all the rights to be so. 

"Is that the reason why you're so nervous?" 

"I think so."

Hearing my admission, he left out a big sigh that apparently was holding in for a while now. 

"Kiara, you can't risk to mess up your health because of a heartbreak. Why don't you find something else to do to clear your mind up, huh? Maybe a call with Hannah would be useful."

I knew he was right. Mike always finds the way to say what he thinks in discussable manner but still centering the point. He opens my eyes up every time, as if he's my Jiminy Cricket.