Rise Up

Chapter 31: Winter Break

After the great party, I spent a few more days in Abu Dhabi, enjoying the hot weather, the luxurious hotel and the best company of my boyfriend, before going back home.

I thought a lot about Lando's question about spending the break together, I'd love to be with him, but I have to admit that our plans were really different.

Before the last events, I planned to go home, just after the race, to enjoy Christmas time with the family. In other words I would have spent entire days sat at a table eating every kind of food made by my lovely grandma and playing board games with my cousins, trying to not let a war happen- being extremely competitive is in our DNA. On New Year's Eve I didn't plan anything actually, I was in my friends' hands. They just told me we were invited to a party of a random guy who apparently went to high school with us. I had no more details about the whole thing.

Instead his plans seemed busier. Christmas with family, but just for two days, because after the traditional lunch and dinner with the gifts exchange, he planned an exciting trip to Dubai with his group of friends. In other words his holiday would have included party, fun, luxury, and his mates.

Too different plans.

We said our goodbyes at the airport, as we both flew directly to our home country, with many difficulties of letting go each other's comfort bodies. We spent the first part of the vacation as we planned, basically with the fam, and everything was perfect. Our free time was filled by long videocalls and when we were with the others, we constantly texted, trying to be in touch as much as we could, sharing photos of everything we did and funny events of our days, as if we were there together although the distance.

Then the problems started when I decided to not go with him to Dubai, even my doubtful and not too exciting plans for the end of the year.

His trip was perfect on the papers. I mean, everyone would love to go and celebrate in big style the end of this eventful year, hoping for a better one, but it seemed a bit too much for me. Going with him would have meant spend 10 days with his friends only, taking another plane for a very long flight, going back to a warm place, having fun uncontrollably and forgetting about all the responsibilities and things I actually had to do, such as the training and the physiotherapy with my trainer. Not talking about the fact that I wouldn't get ready for the upcoming season as I wanted as well.

As soon as I considered enough his purpose, I told him about my decision on our usual late night call. Useless to say that he wasn't happy at all. I felt immediately guilty, over all because in the last days I repeated him how much it would have been great, using my fantasy to imagine us together spending our time in the best way possible. Basically he felt like it was an illusion, all for my fault.

The call didn't end in good terms and the days after were even worse as he decided to punish me with his biggest weapon: the silence torture.

He ghosted my texts, leaving me often on read and not answering my calls too. I understood his disappointment but his behavior was too childish, also for him. In the end he was angry at me and I got angrier at him. What a way to end the year.

During the party at NYE, at least he texted me for the wishes. As I was still out with my friends I didn't pay too much attention to it, promising myself that I would make him wait a bit, responding the morning after. Of course the alcohol didn't help my curiosity, so I stole my phone, which was under my friends' control, and I checked his message.

Lan <3: happy new year babe. I'd die to be with you, no matter where. I'm so sorry for these past days, I'm an idiot. Call me when you can, I'd really like to talk, I think we need to... enjoy your night, miss u always <3

I read his words imagining his voice doing it in my mind. I missed him so much as well. Maybe we were just too stubborn to admit that we could have found a right solution for both of us. Again the problem was the conversation between us. We should really stop pulling up walls around us every time something is not ok.

As the girls were busy on the dance floor, I grabbed my jacket from the messy wardrobe of this huge house and found a quiet place to be able to call him. I reached the entrance, fortunately nobody was there so it was perfect for my intention. I started the call, focusing my eyes on the beautiful colors of the sunrise in the sky and not on the very cold breeze that was about to make me became an ice cube.

"Babe." His voice was the most beautiful sound I've ever heard in these past days.  "I was hoping to hear you as soon as you read the text. Wait, let's switch into video, I want to see you."

I was already smiling at his voice, seeing his face again would make my heart jump better than an athlete. I pressed the video button, waiting for his beautiful blue-green eyes to appear on my screen.

"Here you are!"

The first thing I saw was his big smile, that I missed so much. Then I notice that he was still in a club, a very crowded club, surrounding by many people even in what I thought it was the VIP area.

"Happy new year, Lan. I wish you the best." I said, trying to hold back my smile, to pretend to be still a bit mad at him.

"Listen, I think we really need to talk but I'm aware it's not the best moment right now. Let me just tell you that I'm so sorry. I spent these past days thinking about all what happened and, well, Max and the others, helped me realize that I've been selfish and also an ass. It's true, I was thinking just about what I wanted for me, without caring about your feels or needs at all. I also want you to know that I was serious when I told you that my friends would have been more than happy to have you here. You know, they told me that I talked so much about you, that they feel like they already know you."

It really wasn't the best moment to have this conversation, as the music was louder than his words sometimes, but I really appreciated everything he said.

"Lan, I feel sorry too. I accused you to be childish but I did the same. I want you to know as well that I would have loved to be there with you, it's just that it's not a good moment. The team already call me to go to the motorhome, you know? They already filled my agenda for this month and I'm so nervous." I giggled at my own words, looking at the floor.

"Hey, these are great news, you should be excited and not nervous. Everyone loves you already, nothing to worry about. I mean, you're already in, no? Anyway I wanted to call you also to tell you that I'll come back home a few days earlier. I changed my flight just this morning, I want to see you."

His words were the best music to my ears again and of course also to my heart. He was really trying his best to fix this little obstacle in our relationship, so I'll do the same.

"I can't wait to see you, I miss you so much. Want to come in Florence? It's cold but not the much, even if right now I'm freezing-"

I stopped mid sentence when a brown head popped in my screen. 

It was a girl. She came closer to Lando saying things that I couldn't understand due the noises in the background. I had a better look at her when she took the phone from his hands, noticing how familiar she seemed.

Of course she was familiar. It was Elizabeth.

Still with the camera pointed at her, she leaned closer to him again, pulling him in a side hug, resting her head on his shoulder and her free hand on his torso. Lando was basically doing nothing apart from keeping his gaze on me on the display and trying to pull her away gently, as it was evident how unsteady she was, probably for the amount of alcohol in her body.

The worst happened when she kissed his cheek, still whispering random words and smiling. Then another kiss this time closer to his lips. Then another one, on his lips.

"You know what? I think you should stay a little longer in Dubai. Have fun."

And like this, I ended the call. The last imagine that appeared on my phone was playing and replaying in front of my eyes. Her lips on his, the same lips I was dying to be able to kiss again.

What a way to start the year.