Julien Baker One-Shots

Secret Crush

Julien had been your best friend for as long as you could remember. You two met in elementary school and had been inseparable ever since. When you got into fights with your parents as a teen, Julien was always there with open arms to comfort you. She would let you rant about your problems with no judgment.

You watched her go through rough patches, but you were always there to help her through them. When it came to dating, you watched her get her heart broken multiple times, which broke your heart. There was always a feeling of jealousy each time there was someone new, but you shoved the feeling down. You couldn't like her like that. She was your best friend.

As you two got older, your feelings only grew for her, but you couldn't tell her that. You didn't want to ruin the friendship you had with her.

One Friday night, the two of you guys were hanging out. You were staying over at her house as it had been a while since the two of you caught up. You sat on the couch as Julien was sitting on the floor in front of the coffee table painting. You watched as she moved the paintbrush with little effort, but somehow the painting was turning out beautifully.

You were watching the tv before but now you couldn't focus on it. The only thing you could focus on was the way Julien looked.

Her hair was tied back in a messy low bun, and she looked peaceful. You bit your lip, wanting to say something but you couldn't find the right words. As you continued to watch her, you couldn't help but think about what it would be like for her to be "yours".

Late-night drives with her around the city, blasting music and singing loudly together. Long walks together where you two talked for hours. Lots and lots of cuddles. And lastly, kissing her whenever you wanted to.

Suddenly, you got up to grab a glass of water from the kitchen. You needed to rid those thoughts from your mind. You stood there in the kitchen with your back against the fridge, almost inhaling the water. Your heart was racing, and your mind was filled with those thoughts.

'Stop Y/N' you thought to yourself.

You pinched the bridge of your nose, taking a deep breath before setting your glass in the sink and making your way back into the living room.

Julien turned her head to look at you when you made your way back to the couch.

"You okay?" She asked when you sat back down.

You nodded. "Yeah, I was just thirsty."

She nodded, keeping her gaze on you for a moment. Almost like she knew something was up, but she didn't want to push it.

When she turned back to her painting, you bit your lip once again.

Julien was always big on communication. If you ever needed to get something off your chest, she encouraged you to do so. You knew that you needed to tell her.

"J?" You asked.

You almost couldn't stand the way your voice pitched up two octaves. 

"Hm?"

Her back was still turned, continuing to finish what she was doing before turning her attention to you.

Your pulse quickened and you started to chicken out. You felt like you couldn't let the words leave your mouth. Worried that if you said it out loud that she would never talk to you again.

"Never mind." You said, turning your attention to the tv.

You thought Julien would just go back to painting but she didn't. She set the paintbrush down before moving to sit next to you. Her eyes were burning into the side of your head, but you kept your gaze on the tv.

Julien was reading you like a book. She knew that you had something to tell her.

She reached for the remote on the coffee table, turning the tv off so that you would have no choice but to look at her. When you turned to look at her and your eyes met hers, she could see the anxiety in your eyes. She tilted her head, looking at you with a sympathetic expression, taking your hands in her own.

"Y/N, what's going on? You know you can tell me anything."

You could hear your heartbeat ringing in your ears.

"It's nothing." You brushed it off.

You kept your gaze on the ground, wanting nothing more than this awkward moment to end. But Julien insisted on you telling her what was wrong.

"Come on Y/N, please tell me."

You finally looked at her, blurting out "I like you, okay!"

Julien's eyes were wide, and you quickly looked to the floor, your cheeks felt hot, and your face was turning red.

You just wanted to disappear; your head was racing with anxious thoughts. You thought Julien hated you at this point, but you felt her touch your cheek with her hand, turning your head towards her.

"I'm sorry-"

You didn't even finish your sentence before Julien cut you off by kissing you. The anxieties melted away the second her lips touched yours. Her lips were soft and molded perfectly to yours. The kiss started slow but turned into hot and passionate. You both ended up on the floor, with Julien on top of you. The both of you desperately wanting this for a long time. One of her hands was next to your waist to brace herself, the other was cupping your jaw.

When you both pulled apart, you both were out of breath. Julien tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, smiling down at you. You both let out a laugh and then the two of you sat up.

You let your head rest on her shoulder, and she kissed your temple, letting her lips linger for a few moments.

"I've always had a crush on you," Julien said after a while.

You turned your head to look at her.

"Really?!"

She nodded. "I always thought you were way out of my league."

"I'm not that pretty." You said.

She rolled her eyes playfully at your statement. "I beg to differ. You're the prettiest girl in the world."

You giggled, blushing heavily.

"You're cute when you blush."

You were a puddle of mush at this point.

"No, stop-" you said, covering your face.

She laughed, pulling you into her lap, kissing your cheek. You hid your face in her chest, and she wrapped her arms around you tightly.

"Could we be official?" You asked, finally looking up at her.

She smiled, nodding. "I would want nothing more than to be yours."

"And I want to be yours."