Julien Baker One-Shots

Snow On The Beach

You could feel your heart racing as you sped down the dark back roads. It was snowing, making it almost impossible to see. Julien wasn't answering her phone and she wasn't answering Lucy or Phoebe's calls either. You had gone to her home to see if she was there, but she wasn't. Her car wasn't even there. The only place you could think to go was the old beach home you used to go to as kids with her.

Julien and you had grown up together. Your parents were best friends, so it came naturally that the two of you shared a friendship. You had a crush on Julien since a kid, and Julien knew that. The two of you briefly dated, but it was complicated. She was like a closed book. Hard to read and understand.

As you got closer to the beach home, your heart was racing even more. What if she was here? What would you even do?

Pulling into the driveway, you immediately saw her car. Your heart stopped for a moment. You were nervous to see her. Scared to see what you would find.

As you got out of the car, you noticed the lights on in the home meaning she was inside. You slowly approached the house, carefully climbing up the broken steps. The home was a bit run down and needed repairs but that wasn't your worry at the moment. Your focus was on finding Julien.

You carefully grasped the side door, and it opened. Quietly you walked inside, shutting the door behind you. The house was quiet which felt a bit eerie. You kicked off your snowy boots before walking through the home, you could feel the heat coming through a fireplace. You carefully walked into the living room, immediately noticing Julien tending to the fire. Her back was to you and slowly you made your way into the room. You were nervous to say something, but you knew you needed to.

"Where the fuck have you been?" Your voice came out harsher than you meant it to be.

Julien turned around, her eyes wide and she was looking you up and down. Shocked you were standing there. She was wearing a sweater and jeans, her hair pulled back into a loose messy bun.

"I've been here." She said softly, moving to sit down on the couch.

You crossed your arms, moving closer to the couch.

"Why haven't you been answering anyone? Do you know how worried everyone is about you!?" Your voice was filled with worry and sadness. You were truly worried about Julien.

She let out a soft sigh.

"I'm sorry." Her voice was soft.

You made your way over to her, sitting down and taking her hands into your own.

"What's going on Jules? Please tell me."

She sighed, meeting your eyes for a moment.

"I've been depressed lately. I started drinking again."

Your heart hurt as you heard Julien mention she started drinking again. Julien had a history of addiction and had been clean for a while. It shocked you that she relapsed, but you knew that it could have happened eventually.

"Why didn't you tell me? You know I would have been there to help." Your voice was soft but filled with sadness.

Julien felt tears welling up in her eyes. She couldn't meet your eyes as she spoke.

"You know me. I hate to be a burden. We're not even together anymore."

You felt tears fill up in your own eyes. The way she phrased it made your heart hurt. "Jules-"

Her eyes met yours. She had tears falling down her cheeks as she spoke softly.

"I'm sorry. I know I should have reached out. I just, I don't know."

You shook your head and let out a soft sigh. "Julien, you don't need to be sorry. I know what it's like to feel like a burden. But let me just say, you're not a burden. Nobody is mad at you, we're all just worried about you."

Julien nodded. Wiping away her tears.

"Can I hug you?" You asked softly.

Julien gave you a sad smile and nodded. You let your arms wrap around Julien and she did the same to you. The hug was soothing for both of you. You had missed her embrace. She smelled strong of that one cologne you bought her one Christmas, which was a special memory.

When the two of you pulled apart, you let your hands rest on her shoulders. You gave her a small smile, which she returned.

"How long were you planning on staying here?" You asked her softly.

Julien shrugged a little. "I didn't have a plan. Just needed to escape reality for a bit."

You nodded sadly, listening to her with a sympathetic expression. It hurt knowing that Julien was hurting. But you knew you couldn't force her to talk about her emotions.

"Do you want to maybe walk the beach?" You asked softly.

You guys used to always walk the beach together. Especially at night. The two of you would spend hours talking and walking. It was therapeutic.

Julien nodded. "Let me just grab my coat and boots." She said softly.

You nodded and followed her to the door, slipping your boots back on. Julien put on her coat and boots before the two of you made your way outside. The walk to the beach was just a long path but it was super dark. Julien used her phone's flashlight to guide you guys to the sand. Once on the sand, the moonlight lit up the sand.

The two of you walked for a moment. Your hands were by your side while Julien stuffed hers in her coat pockets. It was still snowing, but not as heavily as earlier. The cool air felt good against your warm skin. You wanted to say something, but you couldn't find the right words.

Suddenly, Julien fell backward into the sand. She let out a laugh and you looked at her confused for a moment.

"Come lay here." Julien said, holding out a hand for you.

You took her hand, and she dragged you down with her. You landed on your back, letting out a laugh as well. The two of you lay there in the sand for a moment in silence, before Julien turned her head to look at you.

"I miss us." She said softly. Her eyes were staring into yours.

You nodded. "I miss us too."

It was true. You missed what the two of you guys shared. Sure, it was hard, but Julien was the only person you had ever seen yourself with. You had dreamed of marrying her one day.

"Can I kiss you?" Julien asked softly.

You gave her a small smile and nodded. The two of you guys were laying on your sides in the sand. Julien reached over to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. That simple action brought butterflies to your stomach. She cupped her cheek gently before leaning in to kiss you. The two of you guys shared a gentle but sweet kiss, before pulling away. The two of you guys then lay back on your backs, staring up at the stars.

"I want to start over." Julien said after a bit of time had passed.

You glanced over at Julien, but she kept her gaze up at the sky. She looked mesmerized by the stars. You stayed silent, waiting for Julien to continue.

"I want us to try again. I want us to be together." Julien said, finally looking over at you.

You stared at her for a moment. She looked so beautiful; her eyes filled with so many emotions. You gave her a small smile and nodded.

"I want us to be together Jules. I want to try again. But you have to promise me that you'll let me help you get sober again."

Julien nodded, sticking out her pinky for you to take which you did. The two of you guys' pinky swore. And you knew at that moment that you would do anything for her. She was your soulmate and best friend.
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Can you tell I've been watching tsitp lol. The books are better than the show though. Anyways, hope you guys are having a good day.

~Belle<3