04. Not All Of Its Your Fault

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Extra tw for this chapter : ed

"I've been Miss misery since your goodbye

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"I've been Miss misery since your goodbye."- Taylor Swift

When I had gotten home yesterday all I did was study. I stayed up most of the night doing nothing. Considering the fact that my basketball was stolen so now I couldn't even do the one thing I loved the most. Of course I tried to ask my parents for a new one and my mom didn't answer me but my dad at least shrugged his shoulders. 

Great. 

Just Great. 

It's currently 5am and Im staring at the ceiling realizing I'm just wasting time. So I get my butt up from my very very comfortable bed. I groan and walk to my dresser. I pull out a pair of cream colored cargo pants and a green tank top. I take a shower, rubbing myself with vanilla body scrub all over me. I dry myself quickly and brush my hair after throwing on the outfit. 

My pants became bigger. 

Maybe that's what happens when you mom shames your body.

She isn't even wrong. 

I check the time and it's only 7. I guess my only choice is to go to school. 

Not like I have anything else to do.

 I run down the stairs grabbing everything I need before I leave but, before I could open the door and run out of here I hear distant yelling living room.

I tiptoe to the corner and see my dad and mom arguing.

"You treat her like shit, and I can't believe I'm just realizing this now!" My dad yells.

"She'll get over it! You know we've always wanted a boy, girls are too high maintenance to take care of." My dad stays quiet as my mom takes a breath, lowering her voice a little. "She almost ruined our lives. You know the only reason we're still together is because of Adam." My mom runs off to the kitchen and my dad is left there rubbing his temple back and fourth. 

I run back to the front door and leave as soon as I can to start walking to school.

My mom had me when she was 20, it's not as young as you may think but she was on low income. Obviously I wasn't meant to happen. 

Yup, I'm a mistake. Hooray.

My dad however said we should keep the baby. So she did and at the gender reveal party I was a "boy." They mixed up the results with someone else's kid, so the least to say is that they were very surprised when I was birthed.

However, they always thought ahead of time for the "boys" future. They've only ever wanted one kid. Yet soon after I was born they made Adam. The golden child. 

It doesn't matter to them anyways, because to them they technically only have one child because they aren't really my parents, they've never really been. 

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