The Past Can't Be Forgotten. (All Time Low fanfic)

I'd rather live in Wonderland.

"'C'mon! Just one more.." I pleaded. The barman shook his head.

"I'm sure you've had enough for tonight bud." I sighed.

"I've been looking for you for hours Alex! Come have fun with us! We Are The In Crowd are here too! Get your ass up now!" I knew it wasn't good to stay alone anyway. But Jack seemed really drunk, about twice more than I was.

"Oh yeah, right. Because I really like them," I said sarcastically.

I still got up and followed Jack through all the sweating people until we found Rian and Cass and everybody around them.

"See who I brought back from death!" I waved at them. Soon after, we were all dancing, Tay against me. I couldn't remember how many drinks I had after that but all I knew was that it wasn't bothering me.

*****

When I woke up in my bunk on the bus, I was alone. Good thing I'd say. But then I saw all the pictures around me and I understood that something happened yesterday. I couldn't have decided to get all my pictures with Jen out for nothing. But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't remember a single thing from last night. All I got was a headache.

Dragging my finger on one picture, I couldn't stop the 'I miss you' that slipped out of my mouth. I really missed her. Her laugh, her smiles, her hugs, her tears too. Everything. I just felt so alone right then, even though I knew I really wasn't alone at all.

Move on. Yeah, I knew that was what I should do. I knew it had been far too long. But it didn't make it any easier.

I slowly took her diary from under my pillow. I didn't know how it had got there but it was. I opened it to find some papers with drawings on it. Drawings of me, the band, her family, her monsters too. There were shadows, hands with long fingers... Every little drawing had a sentence written under it. But it was like everything made her think of her demons, of the life she was living but wanted to escape.

Something caught my attention on one drawing. It was me, but I was asleep on what looked like the couch. The thing written underneath was "In sleep we find temporary release but in death we find true happiness."

That one sentence made so many memories come back. It reminded me of the most painful thing I'd ever had to live. Those words were exactly the ones Tom wrote in his suicide note.