The Past Can't Be Forgotten. (All Time Low fanfic)

To feel or not to feel?

Jack POV.

I really didn't know what I should have thought. Alex hadn't had any breakdown for two weeks. And I definitely was grateful for that. But recently, he also had never shown any emotion. Nothing good, nothing bad. He was just ironic and sarcastic all the time, we -the guys and I- could barely stand it anymore. They had asked me what was happening to him, but to be honest, I had no fucking idea.

What had prevented me from yelling at Alex yet, was that there were no more cuts on his arms, or ankles. It got me thinking that maybe, being a real asshole was helping him.

"Are we gonna practice or just watch each other in silence for hours?" Alex asked.

'Shut the fuck up' was all I wanted to answer, but of course, I couldn't say that.

"Yeah, which songs do you want to play?" Zack said.

"I guess Stella, Damned if I do ya and Coffee Shop Soundtrack should be fine for today."

"What about the new one? Walls?" I questionned.

"I don't even know if it will be released. C'mon, this isn't the best song I have ever written." He told me.

It wasn't like this song had been written by us, together, about our feelings for each other. Nooo. I seriously thought this song was one of our best works.

"Maybe not, but practicing it could help us making it better, don't you think so?" I said, trying to stop myself from strangling him. 'He feels better, isn't it the most important thing?' my inner self reminded me.

"I honestly think Walls can show what ATL really is about." Rian added.

"Is it a joke? Why are you all against me on this?" Alex sighed.

Someone should make him stop this game or I swore I would torture him enough to make his shitty attitude go away. 'That'd be selfish of you, you know that, right? Would you really prefer the depressed Alex?' At least he wouldn't make us feel like shit all the time!

"We're not against you, Alex. We just think that Walls could touch people more than some of our other songs, and that's why we want to give it a try." Zack said.

"Whatever."

I stood up and went to my room. this was just too much for today. He pissed me off so much I thought I'd punch him a hundred times without stopping in between.

Alex POV.

When Jack got out of the living room, I wondered if -once again- this was worth losing all of my best friends. It might seem like it was easy, but being a prick was hard for me. Even more when it was to my friends.

This was happening a lot more too. The 'wondering about everything' thing. I didn't know why, but I was focusing more and more on questions which I would've found stupid a little while ago.

Right then, what I was thinking was that I should probably just leave. At least, I wouldn't be awful to my friends.

"Right, because with a guitarist gone, we're going to go far. I'm leaving." I said.

"It's your home, Alex." Rian pointed out.

"Duh."

Maybe I wasn't going to get better at all. Maybe my whole life was a big joke. Maybe I just wasn't worth saving.

And maybe my thoughts were slowly killing me.

Jack POV.

"You dumbasses made Alex run away!" Rian yelled.

Wait, what?

"How did I do that? He was perfectly fine two minutes ago!" I said while going downstairs.

"Maybe he didn't like you walking away."

"Fuck that. I can do whatever I want in my house!"

"You know this isn't the best thing? I mean, letting Alex out all by himself. He doesn't feel better at all, Jack, and you know it." Zack told me.

The worst thing was that, deep down, I knew he was right. I was just done dealing with Alex's shitty behaviour. I was done caring so much about him that it hurt. I just wanted the real him back.

"If I knew where he was at, should I go to talk to him?" I sighed.

"You already know the answer, buddy." Rian answered.

"Yeah, whatever."

I grabbed my jacket and headed out to where I was sure Alex was if all of this was just an act. To my own surprise, I was running. Something was telling me that things weren't good at all.