The Past Can't Be Forgotten. (All Time Low fanfic)

Who said life was easy?

Two months later, we were finally back in Baltimore. Tour got harder each passing day. Keeping my darkest secrets from everybody, including Jack, was becoming nearly impossible. I didn't think I'd admit it, but it literally ended up driving me insane.

Today, I could do everything I wanted. First, I wanted to go to bed, and possibly never wake up, but I eventually would. So I'd have to write a song as soon as I woke up, but that would be later. So I headed to my bed and as I couldn't seem to be left alone, right before I could go and drown under my blankets on my bed, someone rang at my door.

"Alex, it's Jack. Get your fucking ass up and open the door! We need to talk!" I didn't know why, but it didn't sound like good news.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm coming." I opened the door and Jack stormed in my house. His eyes were full of angriness and sadness.

"Why, Alex? Why didn't you tell me what you were doing? Fuck! How haven't I seen it?!" He shouted, eyes pleading for me to deny everything, to tell him I hadn't done anything wrong. But saying this would make me lie, and I hated lies almost as much as I hated myself.

I wanted things to get better for me. First, I believed it was possible, but then I realized that I could try my hardest and still wouldn't receive anything good.

"Show me."

"Jack, I don't think th-"

"Dammit Alex just show me!"

Slowly, I began to pull my sleeves up, revealing cuts and scars. This was my biggest shame because I knew what it would do if I didn't stop right now. I knew what it did to Tom and Jen.

"Lexy..." Jack murmured while tracing softly every one of the lines. "You know you could've talked to me.." His gaze met mine, tearfull.

"What would I have said, uh? My ex girlfriend and my brother's suicides make me go insane, please would you be kind enough to help me?" I took my arm away from him. "You know what? I don't regret this. I know you don't care. In fact, if I could be dead, it would be best!"

Jack wrapped his arms around me from behind and held me close to his chest while I was trying to get away. "Don't ever say that again. I care, probably more than every human being. And you can't just leave us. Do you understand what it would make us feel like to have let you down so much that you'd give up on yourself? Please, Alex."

I had stopped hitting him. My head fell down. I felt so dumb suddenly.

"I promise to never judge you. Even if I wanted to, I couldn't. I know what you've been through, and I am so proud of you because even with all of that, you haven't changed. You know that speech you do right before playing Therapy? It applies to you too. If you need to talk or just a hug, come to me bro, ok?"

I couldn't say no to him. But I knew I wouldn't talk to him, I wouldn't be able to. I hated how pathetic I was. Nobody should worry about me. I didn't deserve any attention. And then, Jack came and made me feel safer. I would regret this feeling as soon as he was gone.

"I can't see you destroying yourself anymore Alex. I really need my best friend back..."

"Would you please let go of me and go back home?" I asked. I was having one of those urges to push everybody away. My brain did what it thought was best so I could try and stop overthinking everything.

"And what would that change? I won't let you alone." Jack answered while I pushed him away. "Yes you will. Guess why? Bec-" I snapped back but he cut me off.

"Because you're afraid I won't stay when you'll need me most. Too bad, I didn't plan on that. Now, let me remind you of that song you promised Rian two months ago. It seems like you need help with it. Great because I have all day to stay here and help you. Where did you put your guitar?" I sighed. If Jack didn't want to go, then he wouldn't and there was nothing I could do about it.

"It's in my room. Come on. I have something to begin with already."

Slowly, I went upstairs, Jack right behind me. I picked up my guitar and sat on my bed.

"You're just a daydream away, I wouldn't know what to say if I had you. And I'll keep you a daydream just watch from a safe place so I never have to lose." That was the best I had come with in two months of work.

I didn't notice the tears falling down my cheeks before one crashed on my guitar. I was weak. I couldn't live like Jen and Tom would have wanted me to. I couldn't give Jack his best friend back. There was nothing I could do right.

Jack took my guitar, laid it next to my bed and hugged me.

"Please, make it stop..." I whispered. "The pain, the loss, I can't live with that anymore.. Please.."

And just like that, I felt Jack's lips against mine, making everything else go away.