Struggling to Connect: The 6th Book

Chapter 1: Histories Help

It's been just over a year and a half since we lost Anna. Alexandria has rebuilt what it needed to after the battle with Negan and we are making this town everything Rick wanted it to be. Everything Carl told us it could be. The sun begins to set when Aaron returns from his outing with Jesus. He informs Rick and a few others of us that Daryl has requested help in the city. I make a low comment that everyone still hears, "must be big if he needs help."

Michonne nods, "ya, so who's in?"

A few hands go up but I keep mine down. Although going on runs has helped me over the year, seeing Daryl isn't really something I'm up to right now. The anniversary of Anna's death was a few months ago, and Daryl didn't make it a point to come to her grave over at the Hilltop. It saddened me that he couldn't take the time away from whatever he was doing to come be with her. Be with me, and I've been avoiding running into him since. When everyone heads out to get ready for the next day, Rick comes over to talk to me, "you know I won't make you come, but it's nice to have you there. This seems like a pretty big deal, the more capable hands the better."

I sigh out, lowering my head before replying, "I'm still so upset with him. What if I lash out? What if I can't control myself when I see him."

Rick nudges my knee with his, "I'd like to think I know you well enough to know you wouldn't risk everyone else just to have it out with Dixon."

I smirk, knowing he's right but say, "doesn't mean I wouldn't want too."

"Don't you think it's time you two talked about it? Find out his side?" Rick questions.

I shrug, but answer, "he's had a few months to come tell me his side. Radio silence."

Rick stands up and puts his hand on my shoulder, "you know he pulls away when he's hurting. Maybe he needs someone to pull him back in." He leaves me there to think. And think is what I do for another hour before making the decision to go with everyone on the run.

The next morning we arrive in the city. Rick meets with Maggie and Daryl to discuss the plan. After we all come together and are given the plan, being split into groups to gather what we came for. Although I managed to listen to everything being said to me, my heart was racing inside my chest while watching Daryl, next to Maggie and Rick. He didn't try and make eye contact with me, keeping his eyes averted and only occasionally glancing up to answer any questions. I know now he must be feeling something about seeing me here with everyone, and I'm hopeful they'll be some moment we can have a brief talk. Shortly after, we head further into the city towards the Smithsonian museum. As we get to the door, Rick and Michonne open it slowly. A deadhead instantly pops his head out and Michonne slices it quickly. She whispers out for us all to hear, "we're good for now. Sweep protocol when we get in."

We all slowly walk in, taking our time to listen and watch what's going on. Once the main entrance and hall is cleared, Rick directions, "ya'll for your lists. Circle back here when you're done." He makes sure to emphasize, "be safe."

Daryl heads straight with his group, while I go off with Rick and my group downstairs. After some minor set backs that were easy to deal with, we get to the room we were meant to be down there for. The Horticultural Management room. As he break open the chains, Rick and I get to the wall of drawers and start opening them. It only takes seconds before Rick finds the first of many seeds. He comments out, "you were right, Anne."

Gabriel coming over to help us and ask her, "how'd you know to find seeds here?"

"Brought my class back when I was teaching." She replies, a bit of pride in her response, "found out they cultivated heirloom lines for the gardens, and they kept seeds on hand so they could rotate the crops."

"They made a doomsday vault without knowing it." I comment out, fingering the snap peas bag in my hand.

Rick comments back, "we're grateful. The Sanctuary will be, too." He starts to put them into big bag, "let's take the lot, get back, see if the others need help." By the time we make it back upstairs, most of the groups have gotten the smaller items we came for and it's time to work on getting out the big wagon display they have on the second floor. It takes some time but we get it roped how we need it to and take our places around the museum floor. Rick takes the lead and directs everyone slowly and carefully through the process of getting it down. As we get down to the last step, we know now will be the hardest part of all. Managing this giant wagon across the glass floor, a small heard of walkers below. After we get the big wagon out, everyone splits off to get the few other old machineries and tools out of the museum. We stay quiet, we stay quick, except when walking across the glass floor. Then we go slow, the cracks beginning to set in with each step. As I head back inside from carrying out a canoe with Gabriel, we hear Rick shouting, "you gotta go!"

I'm not sure who says it but someone yells, "save the plow!" When I notice Ezekiel falling through the glass floor. Most of us call out his name or gasp in fear, but he hangs by his waist with a rope, and everyone is hurting to the pillar it's tied to, needing to help get him up before it's too late. It takes a few moments, and feels like hours before he got pulled up to safety. Carol and him embrace, and I take the moment they are using to reconnect to walk outside and breathe.