Struggling to Connect: The 6th Book

Chapter 35: Just in case

Majority of us head out with the kids to get to Oceanside, but the plan is quickly foiled when the road is blocked off by a tree and 2 of hilltops scouts are hanging from a tree. I instantly know it's Negan, and my stomach drops. I hop out of the wagon as Daryl turns back to everyone to say, "all the roads are gonna be like this now. We ain't getting through."

"It's Negan." I echo behind him, staring passed our now dead guards, so everyone knows and he nods confirming my statement to them. There's a few whispers and hushed voices but Daryl quickly quiets them as he directs them to cut down Felix and Penny so we can take them back with us. Within minutes, we are turned around and heading back.

As the kids head inside to Barrington house, Aaron asks us with confusion, "what happened?"

Daryl explains, "she blocked all the roads. Means they're closing in on us. If we had a window to get out, we just missed it."

"But we can't stay here." Kelly chokes up. Her voice breaks, "you said... you all said... we can't stay here. "

"We can... We can call Alexandria, right?" Luke suggests, "call Alexandria, and... they'll get fresh fighters here, right? And... And... And it's not just gonna be us. It's not gonna be just us, right?"

"Oceanside can't get here." I tell him honestly,

"Alexandria, either. Not in time. Not after what happened." Aaron also agrees, "we're on our own."

Earl takes charge, "divvy up your arsenals. We got catapults up on the walls. And a damn good militia. This is what you've all been practicing for." He stops but no one moves so he quickly adds on with a little annoyance coming through, come on, now, people! Do whatever you need to get your heads on straight! This is gonna be the fight of our lives."

He walks off and the rest of us go off as well to prepare for the biggest battle any of us have seen. The next couple of hours are somber as everyone readies up. I decide to take a few moments to visit Anna, knowing I may not make it back here to see her for awhile after tonight. If I make it out at all. When I walk over to the graves, Daryl's standing over her with his head down, "hey" I whisper as I approach, hoping not to startle him.

"Mmm, hi." He says looking up and through his hair to see me, "same thought as me? Just in case?"

I nod my head and step up next to him. I look down at the little pile of rocks and whisper, "we'll see you soon, Angelgirl."

Unexpectedly, Daryl's hand is slowly grabbing a hold of mine and wrapping it into his. I allow the warmth to soothe my fast beating heart and lean down to rest my head on his shoulder. After a few minutes standing in silence like this, Daryl says, "she would've been one hell of an ass kicker."

I smile and chuckle, "yea, she'd sure have given Judith a run for her money."

We stand quietly again, until Daryl let's go of my hand. So I lift my head from his shoulder and he turns to see me face to face, "yanno, I don't know what's gon' happen here, but I just wanna say I'm sorry for not coming out that first year. I shouldn't have left you to deal with all that by yerself."

"Daryl, it's alright. It was a long time ago." I try and assure him that I'm not mad at him anymore for that.

But Daryl insists, "no, no. It was a dick move not being there for yew. I wasn't there for any of the pregnancy, or the years after. I really fucked up."

I try and comfort him about it, "you were there for me afterwards, you helped me a lot those early days." I remind him.

"Ya, it shouldn't have been just those early days. Grief lasts a lifetime. And I want ya to know I'll be here for yew from now on. Alright, Sadie-Mae? I promise, from here on out, I got your back." He promises me, in front of our daughter.

"Alright, yea." I nod a few times, unsure of where all this is coming from. I notice Carol walking up and I decide to leave the two of them alone to talk, "I'll see ya out there." I say, before nodding my head in her direction to let him know someone else is here. He turns his head slightly to see who it is and then turns back to look down at Anna. I leave, and head back to Barrington house to make sure the kids are settled and as secure as we can get them.

As night settles in, everyone stands at the ready for battle. We notice the rats scattering out of the woods and Kelly bends down to touch the ground. She stands up and looks around before nodding, telling us what we know. It's going to happen now. Aaron takes charge at the head of our barrier and I stand beside Ezekiel and Yumiko. We watch as the horde walks into our electric fence, only managing to take down a few dozen before it snaps, and they continue forward. Aaron calls out, "they're splitting into two! They're gonna load up! On my command, splitting ranks!" He waits for a moment that calls to us all, "and... break!"

We move forward, and I know I need to put my bow away and fight in combat mode. I take out my machete and get close behind the guards with shields, using all my strength to kill the dead against our wall to defend hilltop. I'm not sure who it is, but someone yells, "the fence isn't gonna hold!" And I glance to see the dead pushing more and more against it. Before we could make a change, we're suddenly being drenched in some kind of wet liquid.

While it pours down on us and the dead, Jerry mutters, "smells like a Christmas tree!"

I keep smelling in and realize what it might be, "it's like gasoline!" I holler as loud as I can. And just as quickly as the words escaped my lips, we see a sort of explosion occur and the walkers on the south side of the fence are on fire.

Realization hits everybody at once and people just start shouting, "back inside! Come on! Come on! Retreat!"

"Go, go, go!" People are yelling, pulling our shield defense line back to get back behind the walls.

"Come on! Go!" I encourage those around me.

"Let's move!" Another yells, but as we all funnel closer together to get towards the gate, the walls quickly go up in flames, and we are trapped between the fire in front of us and the walkers behind us.