AFFLICTION- LRH

Only Built To Fall.

Luke's POV:

I fucked up.

While lying here in the bed, my eyes barely squinting as I watch the sun begin to rise through the open window, I feel every inch of me being eaten alive with guilt as Maeve's arm laid ever so still across my chest.

Something got the best of me, watching her everyday.

The way she was just so...

So breathtaking.

So full of life.

So beautiful.

Yet here I was, fucking it all up. I just had to let my dick do my thinking instead of my head.

"Fuck." I sigh to myself, bringing my hands up to rub my tired eyes, sitting up gently in the bed to try not to wake her.

I needed to get out of here.

I needed to think.

I needed to fucking call Cody.

Grabbing her arm, I lift it, careful not to stir her, as I place it gently to the side of her, right where I had previously been laying. Maeve adjusted herself, but got comfortable immediately, which causes a breath of relief to escape my lips.

She was still wearing the sweatpants I let her borrow.

Stepping onto the cold wooden floor, I walk quietly over to the closet, grabbing a change of pants and my running shoes. My journal laid on the counter next to the closet as normal, and I found it odd she never once questioned it.

But, to make myself feel better, I grab the leather back book and shove it under some clothes, rummaging around and making it look dirty so she doesn't get the urge to touch it.

I don't see her being sneaky, but it's just a precaution to my well being.

Once my shoes were on my feet, I quickly make my exit out of the room, careful not to shut the door too loudly as I make my way down the stairs, running into Kouvr and Calum on the way out.

"Where you going?" Calum asks, looking up from his plate of breakfast.

"Out." Is all I can say, reaching for the back door as I make my way outside, not caring about how loud the door will be this time as I step onto the porch.

The sun was beaming down against the sand as I walked, it was only nine in the morning and it would just keep getting hotter. But I didn't care right now.

I just needed to get out of the house.

I wasn't sure what was going on inside my head, my brain racing at a million miles per hour as I began to pick up my pace along the beach, but damn.

Was it regret?

Hell, is there anything worse than regret?

It feels as if it's just a big ball of frustration, self pity, and blame all rolled into one. It's a sick feeling that almost consumes you, invading every personal thought and feeling that's within you.

There was no use in holding on to what happened last night, because I wasn't sure if that was what I was feeling.

I wasn't sure if this is regret.

This was a type of feeling I have yet to know, something inside my stomach that feels like it's ripping me open and tearing me to shreds.

Was it fear?

A fear of what, I wasn't sure.

I wasn't afraid of her. And I wasn't afraid of the consequences that will soon be coming once I make this phone call to Cody.