When you die you either go to Heaven or Hell, there's no medium place for you to live out eternity in utter mediocrity. But, what if you did everything right, and yet you still got sent to Hell?
"Are you sure this is where she works?" I asked, "Of course my beloved." Lucifer said as we entered a strip club, "Lucifer that's an alligator in fishnets and lingerie." I said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to the stage...TIFFANY!" a man announced as a woman walked on stage.
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"That's her." I growled as she spun around on her pole, suddenly her top hit me in the face making my husband laugh, "Look at her and I'll castrate you!" I snapped, "Understood darling." he said as he turned away, "Mirrors still count asshole!" I said, "I'll wait outside." he said as he left.
After the show Tiffany approached me, "Hey there sexy, like my little gift?" she said as she sat across from me rubbing my leg with her foot, "I liked what I saw." I said as I ordered two glasses of whiskey. "My shift ends in an hour, maybe if you're still here I could show you a good time." she said as she bit her lip. "Oh, I'll be here." I said as I took a drink and she downed hers, "I'll hold you to that cutie." she said as she left.
I was walking out of the club with Tiffany at my side, "Oh you're back." Lucifer said, "Who's this guy?" Tiffany asked, "My husband." I said, "Oh, it's been a while since I had a threesome with a married couple." she said we got in the car and drove to her apartment.
"Let me go take a quick shower and we can start." Tiffany said, "Take your time dear." Lucifer said as she jogged to the shower. I looked around and found one picture that made me rethink everything. It was a picture of her and (y/n) as a baby, they looked so happy, "Yep I had a kid, I know it doesn't look like it, but I promise everything down there works as advertised." Tiffany said with a wink as she walked out in a bath towel. "So who's first?" she asked as she spread her legs.
(y/n) POV
"Roxy, can I try one?" I asked, "A beer or cigarette? Cause one is a hard no." Roxy said, "A beer. If those taste as bad as they smell I never want one." I said, "Sure, and that's for the best." she said as she opened a beer and handed it to me, I took a swig and kept drinking, "Holy shit! (y/n) are you alright?!" she asked, "Yeah I feel fine." I said as I opened another beer.
Roxy POV
"I'll just smile away, till I'm the perfect idol~!" (y/n) sang drunkenly as he danced with glowsticks in the backyard, "He's not alright." Mira said, "I know." I sighed, "I'M THE PERFECT IDOL!" (y/n) shouted before he threw up, "God damn it. Now I have to babysit the drunk baby!" I grumbled, "(Y/N) IT'S BATH TIME! GET YOUR DRUNK ASS OVER HERE!" I growled as he stumbled over to me and looked up while wobbling in place, "Uppies." he said as he raised his arms. "You little shit." I sighed as I picked him up, "He's got you wrapped around his little finger!" Mira laughed, "Oh I'll give you a finger." I said as I flipped her off while walking away, "Yeah! Here's a finger!" (yn) laughed, "Which finger is it again?" he whispered, "The middle one stupid." I said as he looked at his hands and flipped Mira both birds.
After giving (y/n) a bath I put him to bed. "Roxy will you sleep with me tonight?" (y/n) asked, "I'll lay here with you till you fall asleep, but I'm not sleeping with you, sweetie." I said, "Ok that works." he said as I laid next to him, "Roxy." he said as he snuggled into me, "What?" I asked, "I know your secret." he said, "Sure you do." I said as I kissed his head.
Lilith POV
"So wait you two adopted my son?!" Tiffany said, "Yep." I said. "Holy shit! I'd make a joke about how you fucked his mom, but I'm just shocked." she said, "I guess all I have to say is get the fuck out. Never show your faces around Mermaids again, and if I ever see you again, I'll kill you." she said, "Not what I was expecting." I said, "WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU EXPECTING?! IT'S YOUR FAULT THAT MY BABY IS DEAD EVEN IF YOU WEREN'T INVOLVED!" she snapped, "Oh yeah I forgot that happened! With everything that's happened, I'm not wrong to have forgotten right?" I asked, "You fucking bitch." she said angrily, "To be fare. I adopted him after he died...kinda." I said as I took my demonic form, "So what you're still the bitch who killed my kid, you just have horns now!" she said as she grabbed a gun and before an alligator flew threw the window and killed her, "That's not normal, even for Florida, is it?" I asked, "I don't believe so, no." Lucifer said, "Let's go home, I wanna see our kids...and Charlotte too I suppose." I said, "Indeed." he said as we left.
"We're back!" I said, "Shhh! (y/n) is..." Roxy said, suddenly (y/n) jumped down the stairs, "I'm the ultimate idol!" he sang as he threw a glowstick at Charlie, "You've never been more proud have you?" I said, "That's my boy." Lucifer said as he wiped a proud tear from his eye. "WHO GAVE HIM MORE BEER?!" Roxy yelled, "WHAT?!" I snapped.
Tiffany POV
"God, what happened?" I groaned as I walked over to a store window and looked at my reflection.
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"I look like her! I look like that bitch!" I said angrily as I punched the window, "Well if she killed me, then I'll make her pay!" I said angrily.
