Poem: Still not over it (2023)

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My mom says you were 14 when you did what you did so I should forgive you because you were so young but
WHY AM I STILL APOLOGISING FOR THE THINGS I DID WHEN I WAS 8?

I have been the bigger person all my life, perhaps it's time I started stepping on people.

But how do I explain
that I'm just glad you did'nt look through me,
walk past me, that you remembered my name
Like as if in doing that you somehow acknowledged my pain?

I should have told you to keep my damn name out of your mouth.
You don't deserve to say it
even if I see myself in you despite how much I hate it

I hate it
I hate it
I hate you... so...much

And yet I know I'd forgive you if you asked.
Yet I know I have the capacity to love you,
even now.

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