LUCIOUS & COOKIE: TUG OF WAR II (REMASTERED)

FOOL ME ONCE

I slowly maneuvered the slick New York streets on my way home; the roads lightly snowed over, so I ain't trying to speed around too fast as if my ass couldn't be touched or something.

Seated around the table tonight, watching those I love the most over dinner, I damn near wanted to cry. Lucious and Cookie have been my family for most of my life; their children are the children I never met a woman special enough to have any with; their happiness is that of my own.

It always has been, well at least the happiness of my nigga Lucious, but once his Lyoness came along it was all aboard, either you're with us or you were against us on this rise to greatness.

Sighing heavily, my fingers gripped the steering wheel, the scene around me drifting by in a blur as I contemplate the current state of my life. I've spent my life serving the needs of another man and his family, but I wouldn't change a second of it for anything in this world.

Rehab, Comma, Guilt, and Regret fill my days though because the Lyons have always been home for me throughout the many stages of my life. We don't always see eye to eye, but I know that despite it all Lucious will always have my back.  That was until he killed Bunky...that one, single, solitary event changed everything. It ruptured the foundation of our relationship to be honest.

Repositioning against the fine Italian leather of the seat beneath me, my mind began to drift back to my days of physical therapy following the comma. Onto how Agent Carter tried her best to put my head on the chopping block and how Cookie and I shut her ass down. That situation is something I've always wondered about, you know, if Mrs. Lyon has or hasn't shared what happened with the FBI with her husband at some point throughout the years that have followed.

My heart feels heavy because despite all of that, I've now dug myself into a ditch that I can't pull myself up out of this time, and as I continue to drive with the brisk night air surrounding me my thoughts are swirling. Life is good, but me, I'm still riddled with guilt about nearly sending Lucious to prison for killing Bunky. 

That shit has been haunting me every day for the past eight years, my anger towards him for killing our friend and my constant worry about if he'd ever find out it was me who'd snitched on him or how he would react as a result of my betrayal. 

I'm no punk, but see Lucious loves to play mind games and it's his mind games that unnerve me the most.

Although my boy has really changed over the years, I still know that there's a killer lurking at his core. A darkness that's just waiting to break free and have some fun. Having Cookie, Laylah, and the twins forced Lucious to soften up some, yet I'm quite aware of the fact that he's the type to laugh and joke with you then look you dead in the eye and slice your throat in the same breath for crossing him.

His ruthlessness, coupled with my own conscience, has been eating me alive on the daily basis and sadly I couldn't resist the mounting urges over the last couple of years to take another dip back into my addiction riddled past. Cocaine numbs me, it makes me forget for a while, gives me that courage I've lacked to face myself in the mirror from day to day these past few years.

My mind swarmed with various scenarios about my life as I eased up to the gates of my subdivision and towards my home. Lucious made me his best man and Godfather to his children once again, which is also something that continues to torment me as well because now, I'm stuck between a Lyon and a hard place, with no visible means of escape.

Creeping my car up next to the black sedan posted up in my driveway, a weighted huff leaked through my lips. 

"Mannnn, what the fuck this bitch doing here?" I shouted, placing the Porche in park, I hopped outta of the car.