HeartBreak. || DNF

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TW - Abuse, Blood, Yelling, Punching

Song Suggestion - loser monologue by sign crushes motorist

"You're a useless piece of shit Clay!" My dad yells.

"Shut the fuck up."

Is what I wanted to say. I wanted to yell it right in front of his face. To finally defend myself.

Nobody else was in the house. Just me and my so called dad. My mom had gone out to work at her flower shop.

I was only 15, what did I do wrong?

"I'm sorry.." I mumble instead.

He had been yelling at me because for some reason the TV wasn't turning on. I knew how to fix it but I didn't want to.

I didn't wanna give him the shit he wanted. I wasn't just gonna follow his commands. He didn't deserve it.

"Just turn on the damn TV!!"

I grip onto the remote.

Is he a dumbass? It was a simple fix.

I look down at the buttons, my fingers fidgeting around. One button stuck out which was the off button.

I bring my fingers up and press it as the TV turned off.

"What the fuck?!" He yells. He starts ranting at me as the TV was now off.

I stare at the TV emotionless.

My breath started to quicken as I hear him shouting at me telling me shit like 'you're useless!' 'you don't deserve to be called my son.'

He had a bottle of beer in his hand so that would explain why he was so pissed off.

"Why are you just standing there!? Do something!!!" He shouts even louder from the couch.

We didn't have a lot of money but at least we had a roof over our heads.

Soon enough I heard him get up from the couch and grabbed me by the shirt, "You fix the damn TV or else pretty boy won't be too pretty no more."

I look into his eyes.

His eyes were red and I could just smell the beer.

"Motherfucker." He mumbles before slamming my back against a wall.

I felt a lump in my throat. I wanted to cry. I wanted to let it all out but I couldn't.

I had to deal with this shit every single day that at this point, I didn't feel the need to cry. What was the point anyway?

What am I gonna do, whine? How was that gonna do shit. It would make things worse.

It would make me look like a pussy.

"I'm sorry." I barely even say as my voice cracked a bit from holding in my tears.

"No damn you aren't." He says. I could just see his sharp and cold eyes bleeding right through me.

He then wraps his hand around my neck pushing me even more against the wall.

I had no words but my mind was everywhere. Fear was tingling inside of me.

He brought his fist up.

Before I knew it I was on the ground bleeding with bruises all over me.

-

I look down at the man groaning in pain and agony.

I grab him by the shirt and punch him over and over again. Nobody had stopped me.