First Glance [Minsung]

Chapter 14

As soon as Jisung enters the apartment, he is attacked with a tight hug from none other than Felix. He may not be able to see it, but he can feel it; the relief and the longing. Jisung feels like a fool for letting Felix handle the complicated situation by himself. He cannot imagine the burden that the other has to bear.

"Lix-"

"Sung-"

Both of them cannot help but pull out of the hug and laugh at the synchronization.

It does sounds silly at first, but they know once the laughter dies down, the still unknown tension will show up sooner or later.

"I need to talk to you about something." Jisung utters. He can sense nervousness along with a hint of sadness radiate from his cousin. But as much as he wants to avoid that certain topic, he knows it won't bring them—their relationship as well as their friendship with Hyunjin—any good.

"My room? Yours is messy." Felix teases. His attempt to lift up the mood earns an eye-roll. Nonetheless, it seems work.

"So? What are you going to tell me?" is the first thing Felix asks once both of them sit comfortably on Felix's bed.

"No interruption, yeah?" Jisung asks. Figuring this will help him, or rather, the two of them to avoid unnecessary misunderstanding.

Felix hums, eyes instinctively avoid Jisung's. The tip of his nose begins to get redder even before the latter say something.

"Please don't ever blame yourself. Or Hyunjin. It's none of your fault."

His arms embrace Felix's smaller frame as he starts to cry. He truly feels bad for pointing out the elephant in the room, but this needs to be done. 

"I understand why you feel bad, or even mad. You are the only person that listens to my rant about him almost every day after all. So it's understandable if you couldn't reveal the truth about what happened to me that night. I uh..." He bites lower lip, pondering. "Though I never expected anything or some sort, it's... it's true it still hurts. But come to think of it... I never really want to be more than a friend with him. I just enjoy his presence... I guess? I'm-" He chuckles. "Seungmin may be right. I may just simply adore him, but not to the point of... y'know... that deep. What hurt me was probably just my ego, not truly my feeling uh- I'm gonna start rambling now if I don't stop." Another chuckle. "But the point is... I'm okay with it. With him liking you, I mean."

"But he knew- he has- he has known that you liked him, Sungie. Don't you think it's kinda fucked up that he confessed to me because you are close- you look interested in that Minho guy?"

Jisung hums. A small smile instinctively pulls each corner of his lips at the mention of certain name. He then clears his throat. "Love... doesn't work that way, Lix."

"Why do you-"

"I'm not siding Hyunjin. I'm-" He lightly laughs, pulling his cousin inside his embrace once again since the latter pulled out of it suddenly. "Thank you for putting me first. But really, I'm okay."

Felix sighs, still sounding irritated, making Jisung let out another amused laugh.

"Stop putting yourself on my shoes, damn~" He squeezes his cousin lightly. 

Honestly speaking, he might have figured out why Felix feels and acts this way. Strange as it may sound, he doesn't feel even the smallest amount of betrayal or overwhelming dejection at the thought. If anything, he feels relieved. Imagine if Hyunjin did like him back, there wouldn't be him and Minho- He shakes his head at the probability, earning a confused look from Felix.

"Anyway... Where did you run off after lunch? Minho-"

"Tonight is about you. Not mine." Jisung interrupts.

"But there's nothing more to talk about." Felix refutes, a tad whiney. "I didn't even need to open my mouth because you, apparently, knew what I wanted to talk about."

Jisung quirks his perfect eyebrows at that. "You- woah... so this is how it feels to be Kim Seungmin, huh?"

"Wha-"

"You keep putting yourself in my shoes that you forget your own feeling, Lix."

"Huh??"

"Jeez, you really look dumb." Jisung cackles.

"You- What are you even talking-"

"Your feeling, Lix." Jisung places his hands on Felix's shoulders, eyes looking straight at the latter's in determination. "How do you feel knowing Hyunjin like you?"