First Glance [Minsung]

Chapter 19

Jisung tries so hard to focus on Hyunjin who asks him to not say anything until he finishes what he wants to say. So he waits. But it has been five minutes since then and three minutes since he saw Minho and his friend - Changbin - entered the cafe.

The look on Minho's face when their eyes met, Jisung could not decipher what it was. He has always been unreadable, attractively unpredictable. But the air surrounded him didn't scream mysterious and confident aura like he used to.

"Sung-"

Jisung's eyes immediately find Hyunjin's. "Yeah? I'm listening." He then offers a reassuring smile. "Go on. I won't interrupt."

Hyunjin smiles at the consideration. But it doesn't take long for a frown to take place. His eyes begin to looks glassy and Jisung doesn't need to look at them to notice that. 

"I want to apologize to you. I didn't have any bad or ill intention when I- when I ignored your feelings. I'm really sorry, Sung." He wets his lips, inhaling a deep breath. "I like- I've liked Felix... since last year. So when he- Minho hyung kept staring at our table during lunch days ago, I had this unsettled feeling. I was scared that he was targeting Felix. I tried to brush it off, but then Felix suddenly said he wanted to watch our practice, then he talked with Minho hyung, and even winked at him." 

Jisung hums. Lips tightly shut, trying to suppress a laugh. He truly feels awful to even have think about laughing at his best friend's misery.

"The thought of Felix liked him- it frightened me, Sung. Then when Changbin hyung suddenly asked us to have mini barbecue party that night?" Hyunjin deeply sighs. "I couldn't keep my cool at that- I was super jittery, I was scared, I didn't wanna get hurt so yeah... I knew it would hurt you, I was- and still am aware of how fucked up it is; for noticing your feelings, but still selfishly asking you to give me some alone time with Felix to confess." 

Hyunjin finally has the courage to look at Jisung in the eyes and says, "it was a jerk move. I'm really really sorry. I shouldn't have done that, Sung."

Jisung hums. "Can I say something now?"

Hyunjin lightly laughs then nods.

"Rather than hurt, it's more like... awkward? I mean- imagine just weeks ago I was ranting about you on daily run to Felix, but the role may be reversed in the future."

The two laugh at the idea. But not the type of laugh where they try to cover up sorrow.

"Thank you for telling me, Hyunjin. And I'm sorry for... unintentionally burdening you with my silly crush." Jisung lifts his pointer finger in front of his mouth, gesturing the other not to interrupt. "If only I weren't that clueless, you wouldn't have to hide your feelings like that."

"Sung..."

"Shut up~" Jisung smiles teasingly yet apologetically. "I really hope everything turns out well for you. And I'm not saying this because I feel like shit for unintentionally making and wasting your freshman year hiding your feelings toward Felix when you could have confessed and be with him. So please, don't mind me. Don't worry about me. You and Felix are the most sincere and caring persons I've ever met and I'm not even exaggerating. You keep prioritizing others first and that- I'm sorry but that just make me feel awful about myself. So please, be selfish. I truly want both of you to be happy."

Jisung cannot help but glance at Minho's direction; and as expected the latter has been staring at him, probably the whole time since he arrived. But as much as he wants to keep any misunderstanding at bay, he throws it away. Hyunjin is his priority now. So he sits next to Hyunjin and take the already sobbing-mess boy inside his embrace.