pov tate
"babe!" billie yelled and i hummed "come on it's raining outside!" she yelled and i looked at what she had on "what no billie you're gonna catch a cold!" i yelled and i heard the front door slam and her screaming not joy
i put my journal down and joined her "it doesn't even rain here like that so enjoy this with me" she said and we played in the rain like kids and i loved ever second of it
i've never had a great childhood my dad was a drunk my mum was working every chance she could her so she could put food on the table and clothes on my back
i hate telling my story but billie makes me feel well enough to tell her
billie jumped around and i laughed "we're gonna be so sick" i said "let's be sick together" she whispered and i leaned down and kissed her
"i love you" i whispered "i love you too" i kissed her again and we danced in the rain i twirled her around and we had an amazing time
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pov billie
i colored her rose tattoo in and smiled i grabbed my green marker to fill in the stem and she snored quietly her phone buzzed and i picked it up and my stomach dropped
when can i see you again
the texts were filled with a bunch of photos and heart emojis
haha ur favorite you fat ass i love you
it was a box of chocolates and chips i continued scrolling and stopped at the women in a lingerie set i got up and went to the kitchen and grabbed some water and went back to the room
i poured the water on her and she gasped "what the fuck babe" she said and i grabbed the other water bottle and poured it on her "billie what the fuck is wrong with you" she said
"what's wrong with me what's wrong with you!" i yelled she looked so confused so i hit her "billie what the fuck is wrong with you!" she yelled and i shoved her phone into her face "you don't fucking love me you fucking liar!" i yelled and i ran out of the room and she ran after me
"billie let me at least explain" she said "did you fuck her!" i yelled
"god no i didn't fuck her that's ari back from london she's starting her lingerie business and sent a couple of photos to me for you" she said and i looked and felt dumb
"y-you don't trust me you went through my phone that's my privacy billie i can't believe you would do that" she whispered
"no i love you ok i don't know what i was thinking ok" i said and she sighed "billie i gave you my password for christ sake i love you why don't you trust me" she whispered "i do" i whispered "no you don't billie if so you wouldn't have went through my phone" she said "are you leaving me?" i whispered
"no i'm trying to figure out why you went through my phone" she said her voice was so calm and gentle "i don't have a reason i just i don't know..i don't like the idea of any other women being in your phone or being around you" i said
"you think i'd be stupid enough to cheat on you come on i love you and your craziness" she said and i giggled and she wiped my tears
"don't ever waste your tears on me i'm not worth any of them i shouldn't make you feel like this i should make you feel like a queen stop crying" she whispered and i sniffed
"shit isn't almost three" i asked "yea why" she whispered "i need to get to my appointment" i said "i have to change and throw the sheets in the dryer" she said and i nodded and helped her "did you do this" she asked and i nodded i forgot i didn't tell her i colored in her tattoo "oh that's so fire baby" she said and i pecked her lips she drove me to the doctors and we waited for the doctors
"what's this for" she asked "birth control" i whispered "alright cool" she whispered and my name finally was called and i wanted tate to stay in the lobby i didn't want her to look at me while i'm getting examined it's weird once i was done the doctor came in and i smiled
"ok ms. o'connell we need to have a talk" she said and sat down "i-is it good or bad" i whispered and she sighed "you have cervical insufficiency" she said "what does that mean" i asked
"your cervix is shorter than the average womens it is difficult for you to get pregnant and carry a child full term and if you do get pregnant you'd have a miscarriage" she said and my heart sunk
my future torn apart in a matter of seconds i can't have kids i can't complete tate and i's family "you will not need birth control because of this the only option left is adoption for you ms' o'connell but if you do happen to get pregnant we could do the surgery to stitch your cervix but you'd have to come 14 weeks pregnant" she said i sniffed and she handed me a tissue i wiped my eyes and smiled "thanks" i whispered and left
i saw tate in the condom jar and talked to the receptionist i chuckled a bit and she looked at me "you ok" she whispered "y-yea" i whispered and she looked at me "can we go" i asked and she nodded and she sighed me out "see you later lola" she said and i smiled "you learned her name" i whispered "yea she's a sweet old lady i told her i'd come visit" she said and i smiled
but my mind wondered back to what the doctor said and i needed something to take my mind off of it
i climbed on top of tate's lap and she looked at me "let me do this please" i whispered and she looked at me "you ok" she whispered and i covered her mouth and unbuttoned her pants and she helped me and i looked at her "promise you won't leave me over something that i can't do for you" i whispered
"i promise" i slid down onto her and she closed her eyes and i rode her "i don't have a condom on" she whispered "it's fine tate" i said and i rode her faster looking for my own high that i couldn't find i was too angry and resentful
i moaned as tate helped me get to my high i pulled her messy hair and she gripped my hips tightly she sat up and my back hit the horn and i didn't stop neither did she
i moaned loudly and grabbed tates shirt and came i sighed and touched her face "what happened in-" i covered her mouth and sighed "nothing ok don't worry about it" i said and she nodded and i pecked her lips
"drive me home" i said and she listened and drove us home i went to the bathroom and turned on the shower and just broke down sobbing
why did this have to happen to me this is absolute bullshit tate and i talked about kids after my career we wanted kids and now we can't have them
i mean it could be a possibility but it could be ruined
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