sunflower

42.

Jisung's pov

I have just an hour until Minho comes to pick me up. The time's passing dangerously quickly and I feel like I'm not ready at all.

"Do I look okay?" I ask for the millionth time, completely ignoring Felix's annoyed groan. "Jisung."

"Is my hair fine? I feel like it's not. Should I curl it? Should I push it back?" I continue freaking out and trying to get myself together before I run out of the time.

It's our first date, I have to look good for him. Even though he's seen me at my worsts, I want to make a good impression.

"Jisung!"

"Maybe I should wipe off the eyeliner a bit." With every look to the mirror I find something new to pick on. It's my hair, my eyes, my lips, my cheeks, my outfit, my accessories.

Everything looks weird and wrong and I don't feel myself even though I'm dressed in my favorite clothes.

"JISUNG!"

I flinch at Felix's yell and look in his direction. "What?" He sighs, standing up from the couch and walks up to me. He lays his hands on my shoulder to steady me, but that doesn't stop my body from shaking from anxiety.

"You look exquisite okay? Breathtaking, dazzling, spectacular. He's going to fall in love. He's going to be obsessed. You look perfect. Can you stop stressing please?"

"I can't! The bags under my eyes are showing and I can't find my phone and oh my god where is my bracelet?" Chills run down my spine as soon as I realize I can't feel the silver string around my wrist.

I frantically throw around everything in my way to find it. I need to find it. I need to have it.

I start hyperventilating when I can't see it anywhere even after I turn the whole living room and kitchen upside down. "Oh no, he gave it to me literally yesterday and I already lost it." I entangle my fingers in my hair and pull at them in nervousness.

"He's going to hate me." Tears well up in my eyes at the thought. How am I supposed to have a great date when it's getting messed up already. The date hasn't even started yet. I lost the bracelet, I look horrible, I'm freaking out, I'm going to disappoint him and disappoint Felix and Chan and they're going to hate me and I'm not going to be able to show up in the school again.

Minho's going to hate me.

"Hey, hey, calm down," Felix walks to me and gently takes my left hand into his, making the silver bracelet slip out of my sleeve and hang loosely around my wrist again.

My heart skips a beat. "It's here. It's okay," he says softly and gives me a reassuring smile. "It's okay, breathe."

"Felix I can't go out with him," I say quietly, causing his face to scrunch up in confusion. "Why not?" He asks softly.

"He's too good for me. He deserves someone better,"

"No. Stop right there." He interrupts me and slaps his hand over my mouth when he spots that I'm about to talk back. "Let me talk." My voice comes out muffled, because of his hand.

"No, you let me talk." He furrows, inching closer to me and I actually start to feel a little bit intimidated.

"You are acting so stupid and selfish right now Jisung. You both care deeply about each other and I see that he's been making you so extremely happy and helping you with everything. You can't give up on him just because you're anxious. He's put so much effort into this date just to make sure it's perfect for you and you're going to destroy it all just like that?