The Unsaid

Chapter Fifteen

That little note broke me. I ran as fast as I could to Ragnarok and Cotal. I banged on the door once I got to Ragnarok's house. I was praying to the Gods Cotal was there. But Ragnarok opened the door, and I walked in, looking in each room including the bathroom for Cotal. Cotal wasn't there, so I left and went to his house. Ragnarok followed, frantically asking what happened. I get to Cotals and bang on his door until he opened. I walk in after that, Ragnarok behind me still.
"Siris! What the hell?" Ragnarok said sternly. I look at him and just hand him the note. He reads it, then looks up to me.
"You've got a bounty on your head?!" He yells.
"What the fuck for? And why does it say you can turn yourself in?!" He asks. I sigh.
"I don't know, okay? Can you please tell me where this is coming from?" I ask, pissed myself. Cotal looks up from the paper to me.
"Whiterun? That's what it looks like. But why Whiterun?" He asks.
"Fuck!" I yell.
"Someone must've said something! Or saw something! This has to be about Lauren!" I yell. Ragnarok nods.
"But what are we going to do?! You can't die and you can't go to jail!" Ragnarok yells. I shrug.
"The fuck if I know! How does this even work? Are they going to come after me or what?!" I yell. He nods.
"Yes Si! If you don't turn yourself in, they will come after you and kill you!" He yells back. I place my hands over my eyes, running my hands down my face.
"Fuck!" I yell again, turning around and walking to the door. Ragnarok instantly stood in front of the door.
"No, no, no. I'm not letting you leave!" He yells. I shake my head.
"Get out of my way! Let me go! I can't put y'all in danger over something I did!" I yell. Ragnarok's face fell from anger to sadness.
"What are you going to do?" He asks shakily as the tears started filling his eyes.
"I'm going to Whiterun" I say softly. He closes his eyes as the tears fall and he looks away from me.
"I love you" He says shakily. That broke my heart. Completely.
"I'll be back. I promise, okay?" I say, hugging him as tightly as I could. He hugged me right back.
"I love you" He repeats.
"I love you too" I say softly. He lets me go and walks around me. I take a deep breath and look back to them. Cotal was the only person looking at me. I raise my hand, it shaped into a half heart to Cotal. He does it right back, before I leave. The tears started as I left Riverwood. I knew what I did was bad, but I had reason. If I was able to explain to them why, maybe I'd just get jail time and not death. A lot happens next, so I'll try and summarize it. I walked up to Whiterun, expecting to get to the castle with no issue. But as soon as I walked up to the gate, several men ran to me, saying several things along the lines of "it's him", "there he is" and "arrest him". More tears fell as I raised my hands in defense and they apprehended me. I was put in their jail for the night, since it was so late and the Jarl wasn't awake. I sat there, all night awake. It wasn't until the sun rose before I realized I was awake all night. Soon, the jails doors open and a man walks up to me.
"Stand Khajiit. The Jarl will speak with you now. But I must put this on you before hand" He says, raising a chain. I knew what he was going to do, and allowed it. He cuffed my hands together, and practically dragged me by the chain that connected them to the Jarls thrown. As soon as we get close to him, the man kicks my legs from behind me, making me kneel. I didn't say anything, because I knew if I did cuss this man out, it would make this worse for me.
"I have brought the Khajiit you asked for" He says. The Jarl nods.
"Leave so we can talk privately" He says. The man left after that, and the long silence was deadly.
"Stand. I recognize you" He says. I look up from the floor and look at him.
"Stand" He repeats. I then stand.
"You fought in the wars against the Imperials. Now tell me. Why do you think you're here? Why do you think we sent a letter to you?" He asks. I look down to the floor.
"I killed one of your residents" I say.
"Yes. Yes you did. Why?" He asks.
"Me and her go back. We used to date. But she kidnapped me, said she knew a way to get me back. I thought she was going to go to my tavern and kill my family. I got scared for them, and acted on that fear" I say.
"I see. You do realize I cannot let you go for this. You committed a crime against Skyrim and her people. But you willingly came to us last night after our warning. Which I praise you for. Not many men would do as you have yesterday night. Most men don't turn themselves in. I cannot let you go freely, but since you fought in the war to help us, I will set a bond for you. Where is your tavern?" He says. I look up to him, shocked he was actually going to let me go, to an extent.
"Rose's Tavern. In Riverwood" I say. He nods.
"For something like this, I will not allow you to pay. Someone else will have to. But once it's paid, you will be free. I ask you to not do this again" He says. I nod.
"Can I ask who said anything? I wasn't aware anyone saw" I say. He nods.
"Yes. I'll tell you. The Dawngaurd themselves did. They said one of their men died, and gave me a name. Which of course, was you" He says. I nod. It made sense, so I wasn't mad. He then calls a man in, and he returns me to the cell I was in. I stayed there in that cell for two days, not at all slept either. I was scared honestly, to sleep. But that second day, someone came in, this time someone new and walked up to me.
"Are you Siris Lee Wilson?" He asks. I nod.
"Your bond has been paid. You're free to go. But I've been asked to assort you out" He says. My eyes widen.
"Out? Am I not allowed back here?" I ask. He shakes his head.
"Sorry. I meant out of the jail. After that, your free to leave or stay. There's been no orders to make sure you don't return" He says as he opens my cell. I stand and followed him out of the jail. As soon as I get outside of the jail, Ragnarok runs up to me and hugs me. I hugged him back instantly.
"Gods! You're okay!" He says, looking up to me. I nod.
"Why wouldn't I be? Everything's fine. I promised you I'd come back" I say smiling softly.
"I mean yeah, but we had to come get your ass" He says laughing and letting me go. I smile at him. After that, we all walked the way back home, and started our day working at the tavern. I was happy to be back, especially after what happened. But everything was bothering me. Lauren mainly. I hated myself for doing what I did, but I had to. I tried to get myself to focus on work, but I couldn't. I stayed at the counter all day, until Ragnarok came up into the restaurant area of the tavern. It was still around noon, and I was getting everything ready to leave, as well as writing in the book I was. The book I was writing in, was The Sun to my Moon. I hear a small knock and look up. Ragnarok was at the door smiling. I close the journal I was just writing in and stand.
"Hey Ragnarok" I say smiling big.
"What can I do for you?" I ask. He smiles.
"Just coming to see how you doing. Did you hear about the dragon sightings?" He asks walking into the library. He walks and sits down in the free chair by me.
"Yes. I've heard. Can you believe there's already been four sightings?" I ask him. He nods.
"Really. It's insane to think about. I guess it's that time of the season again" he says shrugging his shoulders and laughing.
"How's it been? The dragon hunting?" I ask him. I smirk before standing and walking to the bookshelves, placing a book back into its place.
"You are the Dragonborn" I say smiling.
"Sometimes I don't like being the Dragonborn. Especially around this time" he says giggling. I smile and look away. I wanted to ask him something but I wasn't sure how to bring it up. He stands and walks over to me.
"You alright?" he asks. I look to him and force a smile.
"Yeah, I'm good" I say walking to leave the library.
"Siris" he says. I stop walking.
"Seriously dude, are you okay?" he says walking next to me. I look to him.
"Just... I'm fine. Really man" I say forcing a smile and leaving the library. He follows.
"You're not gonna get out of this. What's wrong?" He asks again as we reach the bar. I grab two glasses and some Whiskey. I pour some for the both of us and hand him a glass. He just looks at me after I hand him the glass. I grab mine and walk around the bar. Sitting next to him.
"Just dealing with a battle. I'll be fine" I say softly. He sits down next to me.
"Do you... want to talk?" he asks softly. I look to him, then to the glass of Whiskey.
"I just... can't get over something. The guilt is still there. No matter what I do to forget it" I say softly. He nods slowly.
"No wonder you've been drinking so much..." he says softly. I nod and down my glass, pouring another.
"It was all my fault too. I made a choice, and it was a mistake" I say softly before downing the next and pouring another. I look to him. His face said it all. He knew what I was talking about. He downs his glass and grabs the bottle. Pouring himself another, he grabs it and looks at me.
"She'll be okay. She'll come back..." he says softly. Trying not to cry, I down the next glass and look away. He downs his before speaking.
"She'll come back. Just give her time" he says softly. I don't look at him.
"She's not coming back... She has more then likely accepted the fact that you're dead and probably hates me now for telling her to leave. She probably thinks that she's got no home here now because of what happened" I say softly. My heart sank. Talking about her, thinking about her, what happened, hurts like hell. I pour another glass, this time putting more. I down it, grabbing the bottle. Ragnarok grabs it as well.
"I don't think you need anymore" he says softly. I sigh and let go of the bottle.
"We don't even know if she's alive" I say softly. Ragnarok places a hand on my arm. I put my hand to my head.
"Maybe, but we don't know if she's dead either. You gotta have hope. She's okay. I know it" he says softly.
"What you did that night, wasn't your fault. You've said it before, you'll protect her no matter what and you did. I got stabbed. Who knows what they would have done to her. You saved her life" he says softly. I look to him. My heart completely sank hearing that. I saved her life? I look away as tears fall. Ragnarok wraps his arm around my shoulder and gives me a side hug.
"I know it's hard man. It's so fucking hard" he says softly. I could hear it in his voice that he was trying not to cry.
"I can't lose you too" he says. I look to him in confused.
"What do you mean?" I ask. He lets go and sighs.
"Your going down a path Siris. One I can't continue to watch. Gods, you drink more then work now. It's been like this for eight years. You're my bestfriend Siris. I can't lose you to this" he says as tears stream down his face. He points to the bottle.
"I can't lose you to this" he repeats. I knew what he meant. My heart sank as I pull him into a hug. I buried my face into his shoulder. He hugs me back tightly.
"Please..." he says softly.
"I'm not going anywhere...Not any time soon..." I say softly.
"I've killed some strong things. Dragons, Draugr's, giants, the list goes on. My demons won't win this fight. I promise" I say softly. Ragnarok giggles.
"Yeah that giant was no joke. Probably the most terrifying thing we had to do" he says giggling. I laugh and let him go, sitting back up.
"He had no right to be that strong" I say giggling.
"Honestly! Gods, when he hit me, I swear I died for a second" he says laughing. I laugh.
"Yeah. You flew pretty far too" I say laughing. He laughs as well. The tavern fills with laughter. It slowly goes silent. I softly giggle.
"Just promise me one thing" Ragnarok starts. I look to him.
"You can talk to me. About anything. Don't be afraid to" he says smiling. I nod.
"I know. Just some things are harder to talk about then others" I say softly. He nods.
"I know that feeling" I could tell something was off with him.
"Since you know, we're on the topic, are you okay though?" I ask. He nods before shaking his head.
"I don't know" he says placing both hands to his head.
"I want to do something..." he says softly as his face covers in blush.
"Something?" I ask smiling. He looks to me before undoing his jacket. Once done, he opens it, showing his shirt. My eyes go to the amulet around his neck. The amulet of Mara. Blush covers my face.
"Ragnarok, I told you I like girls" I say giggling. His face goes red.
"It's not for you! It's for Cotal!" he says blushing hard. My eyes go wide. He looks away before buttoning his jacking back up.
"I'm so scared to do it. I just got it a week ago. But Cotal is everything to me. I want to do this but i'm so scared he'll reject it" he says softly. I laugh. He looks to me and glares at me.
"Your not helping" he says angered. I continue to laugh.
"Why would he say no to you? Y'all have been together for eight fucking years" I say laughing hard. Ragnarok's eyes go wide and he blushes again.
"You really think he'd marry me?" he asks, putting his hand behind his neck.
"Of course he would. That man loves you to death. It's quite cute actually. I'm honestly jealous" I say giggling.
"I've got a mission tomorrow. I'll be leaving for a bit. I trust you and Cotal to take care of things" I say smiling.
"Nothing crazy. Something simple" I continue. He nods.
"Just be careful. Please" he says softly. I smile and bow my head.
"Always" I say smiling. I look back up to him and he smiles big.
"Honestly... I think I might take off now. I need a break" I say willingly. Ragnarok nods.
"Trust me. I understand. Did Cotal give you all the missions he has for you?" He asks. I nod.
"Yeah. I've got two I'm going to do. One is along the way to the other. Might as well ya know?" I say. He nods.
"Stay safe. Please" He says. I smile softly at him.
"Of course" I say. After that, I finished getting ready and said my goodbyes. I left and started my two day journey back on the roads of Skyrim.