Ashes Arise

Ocean Void

We arrived a couple days before our wedding to the island. Devon stayed with his family on the island  and I stayed in my parents house. 

This gave us time to explore the island and just have fun exploring, beaches, restaurants, and the next island over St. John.

I thought that it would give our two family's time to get to know each other and that we would all have a really great time. My parents and siblings all were there and his parents, two sisters and his oldest sister husband were now all together on the island. 

One day his family picked me up in there rental car to explore the island of St. John. It began as a ferry ride and then endless driving all over the island. They would stop at a beautiful beach, get out, look around, refuse to swim, and then get back in the car. We did this non stop all day and I felt car sick going up and down the hills in the back seat of a three throw SUV. There was a lot of hostile conversation and I could tell they tried to keep that away from me. They dropped me off back home with my parents and I was so excited. I explained to my parents what happened and they just laughed wondering why they would chose to waist time and not actually relax and lay out on the beach. 

I then took a short cold shower because on the island you have to conserve water with a cistern and got ready for my rehearsal dinner. I had a beautiful pink floor length dress with flowers that popped off the dress and made me look like a fairy. The light pink color was beautiful against my tan skin and I felt confident for the first time in a long time. 

We went out to Magen's Bay beach where we would be married and practiced how it was going to go. It was simple enough since it was so small. We just simple practiced the order of how things were going to go since we also threw in a cliché sand blending ceremony. 

 After my parents reserved a restaurant that was expensive on island for our wedding rehearsal dinner. I was so giddy and excited. Then we went to sit and my dad went to shack Jeff's hand; Devon's father. 

Jeff looked at my fathers hand and sat down pretending he couldn't see my dad so my mom sat in front of Jeff instead. I was worried how it would go after that. The whole time my dad tried to talk to Devon's parents as Jeff kept his head down most of the time. 

Alivia my little sister then looked over seeing Devon's sisters texting and I thought nothing about it. Alivia reach over and whispered in my ear telling me to look at their phones. They were all having a conversation on their phones how stupid this wedding is, how I'm a bitch, and how terrible everything was. They were basically complaining. My parents didn't have much money at this time as they just moved to this island with suitcases after selling everything to do ministry. I kept quiet.

After the dinner the family's parted ways and Devon's family took him out on one last hurrah I guess you would call it. They took him out to bars probably hoping if he got drunk enough he wouldn't make it to his own wedding. 

I could barely sleep that night staring up at the ceiling knowing I was about to be married the next day. Breakfast came and I couldn't eat and then we were off to my hotel room to get my hair and makeup done for the wedding.

I felt amazing. My heart was pounding, but I looked beautiful. My makeup was flawless and my hair was up and looked so delicate with my veil. My mom and sister helped me into my dress. A-line, sweat heart neckline, with a beaded high waist. I remember just taking a deep breath. This was it. 

My sister and I took cute little selfies in the room and then we cleaned the room for when Devon and I came back that night. Butterflies filled my stomach thinking of my future and checking those boxes. 

My dad drove a tiny little rental car to the beach where I was to be married. I stared out the window so intently as if I had to memorize every Palm tree and gas station on the way there. I remember when he parked the car I stayed in it to hide while everyone got in position. I fixed my make up and the nerves shot up to a record high. My dad was marrying us and he was checking that everything was set up.