The leader in blue -MAJOR EDIT-

Little snow day

"Good, you're getting better, faster. I have a mission for you." I stop what I'm doing and take the file. "That is Mr. K he owns multiple business, his daughter Autumn is the real target. He owes us a lot of money. Go after the daughter take her to one of the ware houses and wait for me and the team. Now that shredder is gone we have to clean up his messes. These people think that they can get away with shit now that Shredder is gone. If he becomes a problem for us, kill him." I nod again and leave.

-Blue-

Vern and Casey came to check on me to see how I'm doing. Chase and Alice went grocery shopping, Mikey, Raph, Kiki and Donnie are work solving a murder case of a wealthy man. His daughter is safe but traumatized and her mother is dealing with the heartbreak that she has to endure. The tv is turned off. "You don't need to watch that, you're already dealing with the loss of Leo, you don't another husbands death weighing on you." I wipe my tears. "I'm trying so hard not to fall apart, it hurts not having him here. Christmas is coming up and I don't know if I can do it without him." I hear my babies cry, my ears go back. "I can't bare to look at them, they look just like Leo." He gets up. "I will check on them for you." He comes back minutes later. "Where's the milk?" I sigh getting up. I go in the fridge grabbing 5 bottles filled with breast milk. I sit them in hot water to warm them up. "Come help me." We get to their room, the triplets are on the floor playing but stop when they see what's in my hand. Hand the triplets their bottle, I hand the last two to Vern. I pick up Vitani and Lea, I lift up my shirt and they latch on instantly. "Blue, are you ok?" I watch them feed. "I'm fine." I avoid looking at him. "No you're not. If you need to cry, cry." His phone dings. Vitani little hand press against my boob. I listen to the little noises they're making and smile. "Cute." I say to them. I feel them stop and I pull them away. Vitani grabs my finger and burps, her sister however is having a hard time. I rest Lea on my shoulder and pat her back. She burps spitting up a little in the process. "Will you ever move on to someone new?" I look at him shocked that he even asked that. "No, no way, I can't move on like that. Would if he's still alive? Would if he comes back?" I finish cleaning their faces and change their diaper. "Blue, he's gone." I snap at him. "You don't know that!" Someone steps into the baby room. "Vern, you idiot I told you not to bring up Leo, it will stress her out more." Oscar change his babies diapers. "Let's take all the kids outside in the play pen that way all of us can get some fresh air." Vern helps carry my babies out side and Jen follows right behind. "Mommy, can we make hot coco after playing outside?" I nod. She runs out into the snow. All our babies are covered up and warm. "So, how are you doing?" I sigh shaking my head. "It's...it's hard, this will be our first Christmas without him. Let's not do a party this year. Maybe when I'm out of this then I can I start celebrating but, for now it just feels weird, it feels wrong without him." Sapphire picks up a tiny fist of snow and sticks it in her mouth her brother pull on each others tails as they scream at each other. "Caesar, Anthony!" I get to the pen, I unwrap their hands off each other and study them. Their claws are coming in already. I look at their tail to make sure there was no damage, luckily it is only a few scratches. "You two are ridiculous!" They stare at me blankly as they tilt their heads to the side. I giggle at their expression. "Mommy, you're smiling." I nod. "I am. I am very happy and very lucky." She hugs my legs. "Why is that, mommy?"I pick her up. "Because I have you and your siblings with me. Now why don't you go build something out of snow have fun with all your hearts content." I set her down and she skips away. "I haven't seen you like that since Leo's mi- passing, since Leo's passing." I squint at him. "What did you say?" He shakes his head. "Nothing, honest, you know I wouldn't lie to you. Oh look perfect timing. Raphie!" What was he going to say about Leo?

-??? POV-

I wake up to someone on top of me. "Hey, did I wake you?" I nod. My boss smiles, I watch her pull my boxers down. We've done it a few times before and each time felt... wrong, like I'm betraying someone I care about. I wish I could remember who. "Come on Swift you're making that face again." I shake my head. "Sorry." I sit up grabbing her waist. "What's going on in that head of yours?" She runs a hand through my hair tugging it in the process. "Who am I? Do I have a family? Friends? Do-" She stops me with a kiss. I pull back still having more questions. "Please? please tell me?" She sighs pulling back. "Why do this now when I'm in the mood. At least I was, now I'm turned off by your whining and pleading for answers. No one here knows your story all we know is that we found you knocked out in the ally way. You look like a good fit to become a ninja so we took you in and well you know the rest." Why do I find it hard to believe? I know something apart of me is missing I just know it.